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07 August 2003 @ 11:46 pm
Oooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. >___< !!!  
Arrgh. Again.

You know that feeling of not being welcome in your own home? I'm starting to feel like my father resents my presence, which has been (admittedly) very constant the past few days (as in the last time I left the house was Monday for the doctor's appointment). But, what? I mean, seriously. I can't even stay downstairs with him for more than two minutes before I start to get the "vibes." The "I don't want you here" vibes. The "I don't want to talk, so you'd better not open your mouth" vibes. And I just sit there like "What the fuck? What'd I do?"

It's interesting how when other people are mad, they seem to find that innate ability to push me out of places where I should have every right to be. I never do this. Because I'm weak. I'm always the one who retreats and it makes me so fucking angry. *punches things* I should be able to sit in the living room and yell at the Law and Order people on the screen without feeling like I'm some sort of leper. I live here, too... right?

So, I'd really love to talk to somebody who doesn't hate my guts right now, but I guess that's out of the question. Seeing as everyone bloody hates me. Stupid, fuck-up that I am, even when I don't know what I did.


You are Crowley
Crowley


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Current Mood: unwanted
Current Music: Corey Taylor - Bother (Appropriate, huh?)
 
 
 
Psychodelic Barfly: You're shitting me!psychobarfly on August 7th, 2003 09:28 pm (UTC)
You're not the only one getting The Vibes, yo. :-*
DrWorm: huzzahdrworm on August 8th, 2003 04:02 pm (UTC)
*hugs and kisses to ward against le VIBES*
Pete: There's more fuck-me-Freddy days.glorybox on August 8th, 2003 12:41 am (UTC)
I agree with the above comment. You're not the only one who gets the Vibes. My father sends the same Vibes to me right before screaming at me over something trivial.

And shit, I don't hate you. That's probably no consolation at all, but I wanted you to know that.
DrWorm: lovedrworm on August 8th, 2003 04:01 pm (UTC)
>__< Parents suck. Sometimes I want a schedule of when they're going to be pissy and when they're not. They say teenagers are bad, but they have it totally backward some days...

And it is consolation, it really is amazingly good consolation. Thank you so much. I don't think anyone quite gets how much I appreciate that they took a moment to tell me that they don't hate me. Especially when common sense should have dictated this to a frequently melodramatic me.

So, yes. Thank you.
Meredithsillypants on August 8th, 2003 01:34 am (UTC)
Yes. I know these vibes. *hugs*

And I certainly don't hate you, though I don't know if that's terribly useful for you... :)
DrWormdrworm on August 8th, 2003 03:57 pm (UTC)
It is... it really is very, very useful. Thank you. *bows and fends off vibes*
Meredithsillypants on August 9th, 2003 06:41 pm (UTC)
I was going back and reading my old entries and remembering we used to talk a whole heap more than we do now -- I missed that :) (I got a bit paranoid and decided you really didn't like me at one stage. So, yeah :)
inhale: don't leaveetreinte on August 8th, 2003 08:40 am (UTC)
No worries; I think we all get that. And it's not necessarily that you're weak - maybe you're just better natured/more good-hearted than they are. You're not a fuck-up either, and don't let anyone (including yourself) make you believe that load of crap. I know I don't talk to you enough for it to really mean anything, but I think you rock. Very hard. So yeah. I hope you're feeling better now. Take it easy, Wormy :)
DrWormdrworm on August 8th, 2003 03:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I dunno about being better natured or anything like that... but really, thank you so, so much. *sniffles* I'm touched... really, seriously. Arrgh, why does it always seem sarcastic when I say it?
Little Whittles Her Log Foot: avast!little_whittles on August 8th, 2003 12:42 pm (UTC)
I don't hate you, I think you rock!

You can watch Law & Order here and scream at the TV all you want. :)
DrWorm: huzzahdrworm on August 8th, 2003 03:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D

And I don't think you want me watching Law & Order anywhere near you... I tend to spout controversial and rather heartless gibberish. It's part of my charm! Haha, no...
miss hatter: floatingmisshatter on August 8th, 2003 01:48 pm (UTC)
I don't hate you! Little consolation, but that's all I've got :).

And hell, yell at Law & Order! I can't help but make strange squealy noises and cursing a lot when watching Prince of Tennis, so at least your show's in English, yo.
DrWorm: huzzahdrworm on August 8th, 2003 03:53 pm (UTC)
Aww, but it's really a great consolation. I appreciate being not-hated, I really, really do. And that might sound sarcastic, but it's really meant to be sincere.

As for Law and Order... bleh, I only watch it when I get roped in and then want to bitch loudly when people who should be punished aren't. >_< Stupid cop/legal drama...