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28 August 2003 @ 02:49 pm
I HATE PEOPLE!  
I HATE THEM! I want to cry, I hate them so much! Hatehatehatehatehate. I HATE MEN, especially. Right now. Sorry guys, but I'm starting to see where the feminists are coming from on some of their propaganda on women not getting fair treatment.

I am smart. I am not stupid. I'm ditzy because I get nervous, I drop things, I stammer, I don't always listen, I tend to try to blurt out what are, apparently, wrong answers. This isn't a measure of my intelligence, however, this is a measure of my social anxiety disorder and ADD... and it's not a measure of my gender, either. It doesn't make me stupid or emotional or any less of a person.

I admit, I get scared of men. I haven't exactly had a ton of positive experiences with males (and I've had some downright unpleasant ones in fact) and I hate being corrected by a guy. I don't feel comfortable speaking up if a professor is male. I don't like being teased by males because it doesn't feel like teasing, it feels like mocking.

I've been watching this happen for years and I still see it... males are favored over females. My exposure to the art community has taught me, essentially, that my style is not preferable. That I should aim for a more masculine, more angular, more detailed, more straight forward style. Because that is what I see getting favored. The top comics artists are male, the top caricaturists are male... in general, the people in our culture who are doing what I want to do possess a penis. Which, and I hope you've gotten this by now, I do not.

Not only that, but males are favored in classes. Males' comments are taken more seriously, their stupid questions are answered without comment. If a girl asks a stupid question, it's a joke. She's dumb, she was thinking about boys and not paying attention, etc, etc. And if I give a stupid answer, I get corrected snottily by some overachieving little bastard. How could I be so stupid? Duh.

The professors don't even seem to take my interest seriously. I'm trying to clearly understand my 2-D design assignment and he seems to have this attitude of "you should have gotten this already; it's not hard" whereas he can casually point out mistakes to the boys and joke with them. He jokes at me and I feel as if I'm being put on the spot.

I hate genders. I'm just so frustrated right now.
 
 
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
 
 
 
Classy kinda sassy: bwtalksimmysim on August 28th, 2003 12:25 pm (UTC)
i know you're smarter then they think, you know you're smarter then they think. it's alright.
DrWorm: squallxlagunadrworm on August 28th, 2003 04:01 pm (UTC)
I wish. *cries* Whiiiiiiine.
Little Whittles Her Log Footlittle_whittles on August 28th, 2003 01:24 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry sweetie.

I took a class, called psychology of gender, and we talked a lot about all the things you said. About how men are favored, how they don't get picked on. And it's all bullshit, but it's true. At least you know it's not just you, but all women who are in this situation. Not that it's that comforting...
DrWorm: squallxlagunadrworm on August 28th, 2003 04:06 pm (UTC)
Argh, I know. It kind of makes me feel better that this stuff isn't all in my imagination. I hate feeling like I'm just being paranoid. I feel a lot better, actually, knowing that this is something that gets continually documented.
Little Whittles Her Log Footlittle_whittles on August 28th, 2003 10:45 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's an actual phenomenon, so at least some people are aware of it.