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30 December 2003 @ 05:44 pm
I keep trying to write something...  
And then stopping midway through and deleting everything. It's just whining, after all, and my capacity for being comforted is fairly limited. That being said, feel free to ignore... whatever. I just don't have anyone to talk to, so... (and I was supposed to have a counselor's appointment today, but she called in sick. My luck is just that great.)

I've been getting angry over little things this past week. Very angry, with no real reason... over very little things. Off-hand remarks about a book or a movie, being asked to repeat myself, false cheerfulness, almost anything. People treating me as if they expect me to act rationally, arguing with my emotions, not understanding... I don't know. I don't want to be alone, but whenever someone else makes an effort I get angry almost immediately. I get defensive, I want to isolate myself, I want to hurt them... the whole gamut. I can't say I'm not angry with the individual people or that it doesn't have anything to do with them, because it does... it's just not the same as, you know, healthy person mad. And I don't want to use that as an excuse for being immature and nasty... but I can't really control this. In the selfish quagmire of depression and all else, I really can't control or do much. You know... sorry.
Current Mood: unhappy