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01 May 2008 @ 07:57 pm
I'm always shocked when people like me.  
Oh my god, I found one of my fics recced... in Italian. I'm serious, and here is the translated link. I'm completely flattered, seriously. I'm an idiot and don't even know what to say. It's like one of the nicest recs I've ever gotten, if the translation can be trusted. Thank you, Italian fic readers! It made me smile.

And then my new poetry friend, who I talked to again today for a couple of hours after class, has a friend who has been stealing copies of my poetry because she thinks I'm cool. I'm like, no way. She's been bugging my friend to meet me. This is completely fucking weird; I'm not used to people liking me. But I like attention, so that's cool. Also, I don't make friends easily. Because I alienate and intimidate people, lol. :/

Yeah, I had a very short talk with kleenexwoman a few weeks ago which I had totally forgotten until right now, but it was about how I've just realized that I have severe intimacy issues. Except that I don't really believe this. I can see it intellectually, as I'm next to incapable of keeping up with most friendships, in real life and online, but I'm perfectly able to get into arguments with random people and participate when I can post anonymously. But it's like... intimacy issues. It just sounds so emo and faux-tragical. So I just blow it off, you know. It's kind of hard just writing it out. I get really defensive about it, I don't know. It's funny too because I'm not a secretive person, but I actually get really uncomfortable when people try to be friendly.

I'm really into music right now. Music is cool. I'm going to draw. Or maybe make mood icons, idek.
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R is for Raygun: Jimmy is thinkingkleenexwoman on May 4th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
You have fans. This is pretty cool.

I encourage you to hang out with this girl who wants to meet you, at least once--hanging out once doesn't necessarily mean you have to do it all the time if you're not comfortable with it.