Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life... You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other peoples confidence in you.
You are totally dissatisfied with your present situation. Matters are not going right for you and you are seeking a means of escape. Your mental state of mind necessitates that you need to change your thinking patterns. Remember, if one particular modus operendi doesn't seem to work then try something different ....
It is amazing that you, yourself, believe that old "adage" that you are a misunderstood person ... and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that makes you feel the need to conform to society in general ... but this situation leaves you "cold" knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment .... you seem to be just playing along.
You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you .. that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you - they simply flow off you as water flows of a ducks back... You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can "Let your hair down" and share your hopes, dreams and high standards... You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.
Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a "trier" and indications are that you will .... as indeed you have in the past "bounce back".