I want to cry, scream, whine, and cut myself. But I won't. At least, I think I won't. I'll try not to. Because I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons. The first and most important of which is that I haven't been taking my medication.
Not for any good reason. I'm just too fucking lazy.
Oh, look. I have to go do yard work. It's like he looks at me and thinks "Hey, she's not doing anything! Let's go pick up other people's trash! RIGHT NOW!" But he doesn't ever say that. He just fucking looks at me. Yeah? So?
And, yes, I am doing something, thanks. But it's not like it matters, whereas the yard obviously does.
It's not even as if we live in a town where all the yards have to be clean under punishment of death. This isn't suburbia. Kent doesn't function as a suburb. Kent is like a fucking trashy city with suburban delusions of grandeur.
Dur... I'm back. I feel a little bit better because I walked all the way around the house and thought about how it's slowly falling down while the daffodils come into bloom.
No... the reason I'm actually upset is that I got an email from Morwen. X-Men: Evo fans probably recognize her as a Scott fanatic who writes and draws a bit of Scott/Lance fiction.
All hail, right? And I would too... I adored her site before envy.nu ate it. It was one of the first Evo sites I came across that was slash friendly. Plus, she made me laugh.
Well... she sent me this really, really nice layout she made for When I Grow Up (which seems to have aquired an acronym of its own... I did not plan it!). It's here. And, yeah, you do want to go see it.
*cries* It's slick and internet-hip and slashy and everything!It makes my layout look very... bland.
I'm not exactly a natural at laying things out. I'm very big on the concept of simple. I love simple. I hate frames... but they make everything look so prettiful that I end up using them anyway. I hate the slickness and the eye-candy and the fun website stuff.
But it looks really good. Which fucks me over from head to toe. I'm just not good at layout. Don't ask me to lay things out. Ever. *affects Robin Williams voice* It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it! I mean... if you want proof of that, go take a look at my personal site. Layout sucks, right? Why? Because I did it over one and a half years ago without any knowledge of prettiness. I just did it. And, for the most part, left it there.
So... to use or not to use? Well... it ain't really an issue at the moment, because I can't change anything without my computer. But, even though I really like it, I don't really want to use it.
I want to use my own layout. But I want it to be pretty! *cries some more* I don't know what to do!