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17 September 2001 @ 05:21 pm
The Muses Go to School: Chapter One... The Bus  
Me: I woke up this morning...

Vash: Like you do every morning...

Me: I.E. after much pushing and prodding from the rest of the household. And what do I see?

Laguna: I think she's dead.

Me: Six character muses floating hazily over my head.

Squall: She's not dead. See? She's watching us out of the corner of her eye.

Me: Aww, fuck.

Takeo: Hah! See? Awake!

Me: All right, all right...everyone away from the bed.

*everyone takes two steps back*

Me: How about giving me enough room to actually get out of the bed, eh fellas?

*mumbling, grumbling ensues and everyone backs away by about another foot*

Me: Great, thank you... *tumbles out of bed and practically falls into the bathroom*

Ayanojou: She's not very cheery in the morning, is she?

Takeo: I don't think she's actually grumpy, so much as borderline unconscious.

Laguna: Hey! She's kinda like you! *pats Squall on the top of his head while Squall scowls. Say /that/ three times fast*

Me: *emerging from bathroom* MOVE. NOW.

Squall: *wincing* Or maybe Fuujin.

Vash: *poking around on my anime shelf* Hey, look! Is this me? *begins to fiddle with my Vash action figure* Hey, wow! Little hands and everything! But why am I chained to this sign? *fiddles further and begins to knock things over* Whoopsies.

Me: Gaaahhh! *rushes over to save what's left of her collection* All six-foot tall, spikey-haired, semi-immortal, blonde gunmen AWAY from the anime shelf!

Wolfwood: I think she means you, Tongari.

Vash: You sure? There couldn't have been some sort of mistake...?

Me: *eyes glowing red* Move. Right. Now. Before. I. Kill. You.

Laguna: *huddling in a far corner with Squall* Eep.

Me: *turning instantly to focus glowing eyes on Laguna* Did you just 'eep'?

Laguna: N-n-n-no...no, no, no, no...absolutely not...I did not...um...

Me: Yes, you did.

Laguna: What, me? Noooo-oooo...I've never 'eeped' in my life! In fact, I- *Squall elbows him in the ribs. Hard* EEP!!!

Me: Oop, oop. I heard that. I heard the noise. You can't deny it now.

Laguna: *weakly, as Squall smirks to himself* So what if I did 'eep'...I mean, it's just a noise and all...

Me: You do /not/ 'eep'. BlackRose's Laguna-muse 'eeps' nearly constantly...but that is not you. You do not 'eep'.

Laguna: I do not 'eep'.

Takeo: EEP!!!

Laguna: *suddenly panicked* That wasn't me!

Me: No, of course not. That was Takeo.

Takeo: *springs a slight nosebleed as Ayanojou continues the caresses he was using that got Takeo 'eeping' in the first place* Eep...eep, eep, eep, eep, eep.

Me: Takeo 'eeps'. But not you.

Laguna: Not me.

Me: Exactly.

Squall: *checks watch* Ten-minute warning.

Me: Oh shit!

*muses fly in a whirlwind of activity*

Ten minutes later:

Squall: I think you missed the bus.

Me: I did /not/ miss the bus.

Squall: I think that was it right now. I think it just pulled away.

Me: *slightly irritated* No, that was a /different/ bus. My bus comes at 7:05. We left my house at 6:51.

Squall: ...whatever.

Me: *holding Squall's hand* Why are you coming along with me, anyway?

Squall: *in turn, holding Laguna's hand* I don't know.

Laguna: *in turn, holding Vash's hand* Well, I thought it'd be fun!

Vash: *in turn, holding Wolfwood's hand* Ditto. You have no idea how boring most of our days are.

Wolfwood: *in turn, holding Ayanojou's hand* It gets pretty cramped in your repressed imagination, y'know.

Ayanojou: *in turn, dragging a nearly limp Takeo* Besides, it's a nice day.

Takeo: *bumping along as last in line, with several multi-colored bunnies trailing him and attempting to graze on the sidewalk* Eep.

Me: *frustrated* My life is not interesting. You really don't understand.

Vash: At least we're better off than Heero and Trowa.

Ayanojou: Poor boys. Stuffed into the crawlspace.

Me: *groaning* No...please no guilt trips this early in the morning.

Laguna: What d'ya suppose they do in there all day?

Squall: Fuck and be angsty, I suppose.

Me: *singing quietly* "I will knock you off your feet, I will burn you just like teenage love, I will eat you just like meat..."

Wolfwood: Do you have an Everclear song for /everything/?

Me: Yup.

Vash: Then shouldn't you have an Art Alexakis muse?

Art: You called?

Me: ART! Hot, sexy, cute, heterosexual ART!

Art: Hey, babe. *gives me a hug*

*collective muses pout*

Me: *gushing* I have the same name as your wife...

Art: That's just great...and I'm old enough to be your father.

Laguna: *funny look to Squall*

Squall: What? God, it never stopped us.

Laguna: *resists ever-present urge to 'eep'*

Ayanojou: Bus!

Me: Fuck! *grabs Art muse and inserts him into the chain* Let's motor!
 
 
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