September 20th, 2001

zoot

Bad night...

After fighting with Zero, I went and fought with Amy. Bad me.

But I'm tired of being left out all the time.

And after fighting with Amy, I got depressed.

And after getting depressed, I pulled apart a disposable razor with my nail clippers.

And after pulling apart the razor, I cut the inside of my left arm with the blade.

Not too deep, and not too long, but enough to get the full effect. Numbness and later pain, trailed by guilt.

Whoopsies.
  • Current Mood
    listless listless
diner friends

Song lyrics...

Lalala...had a few songs stuck in my head today...

Old Man- Neil Young
*reminds me of Laguna and Squall...for obvious reasons. Such a good song...*

Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.

Old man look at my life,
Twenty four and there's so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two.

Love lost, such a cost,
Give me things that don't get lost.
Like a coin that won't get tossed
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true.

Lullabies, look in your eyes,
Run around the same old town.
Doesn't mean that much to me
To mean that much to you.

I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past.
But I'm all alone at last.
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true.

Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.


Things Have Changed- Bob Dylan
*I think just the phrase 'Things Have Changed' says a lot about everyone's lives right now*


A worried man with a worried mind
No one in front of me and nothing behind
There's a woman on my lap and she's drinking champagne
Got white skin, got assassin's eyes
I'm looking up into the sapphire tinted skies
I'm well dressed, waiting on the last train


Standing on the gallows with my head in a noose
Any minute now I'm expecting all hell to break loose

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

This place ain't doing me any good
I'm in the wrong town, I should be in Hollywood
Just for a second there I thought I saw something move
Gonna take dancing lessons do the jitterbug rag
Ain't no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag
Only a fool in here would think he's got anything to prove

Lot of water under the bridge, Lot of other stuff too
Don't get up gentlemen, I'm only passing through

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

I've been walking forty miles of bad road
If the bible is right, the world will explode
I've been trying to get as far away from myself as I can
Some things are too hot to touch
The human mind can only stand so much
You can't win with a losing hand

Feel like falling in love with the first woman I meet
Putting her in a wheel barrow and wheeling her down the street

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

I hurt easy, I just don't show it
You can hurt someone and not even know it
The next sixty seconds could be like an eternity
Gonna get low down, gonna fly high
All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie
I'm love with a woman who don't even appeal to me

Mr. Jinx and Miss Lucy, they jumped in the lake
I'm not that eager to make a mistake

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed


Alcohol- Barenaked Ladies
*I've just started actually liking BNL, mainly because their lyrics are just so /weird/. This song isn't any different, but I honestly think that we all relate to this song in on way or another*

Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alchool, alternative to feeling like yourself
O Alcohol, I still drink to your health

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

Forget the caffe latte, screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G&T for me
Alcohol, Your songs resolve like
my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with
nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
self-control and self-abuse

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
Would you please ignore that you
found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole?
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else.

Would you please forgive me
Would you please forgive me,
  • Current Music
    'I Feel Loved'- Depeche Mode
diner friends

I thought this looked really fun...

Ok...saw this in Birdy Jae's journal...had to try it...

I'm giving you nine statements. Eight of them are the truth, one is a blatant lie! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to ferret out the lie. This journal will self destrust in- BOOM!

^___^;;

1) I got started writing yaoi/slash fanfiction earlier than one would think...somewhere between the ages of 4 and 6, I was writing (well, getting my dad to help me write) little short stories about Justin and Jenner ('The Rats of Nimh') that had a vaguely romantic, hurt-comfort feel to them.

2) When I was a toddler, my nearly senile grandfather was living with us. We had much in common, including the fact that we both thought Mr. Rogers lived across the street. Which, technically, would have been almost true, as we were living in Pittsburgh (the city where 'Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood' is/was taped) at the time.

3) For a Western Civilizations project, two of my friends and I made a video called 'Behind the Mafia', which was meant to be a parody of VH1's 'Behind the Music'. I wrote the entire script and played a mob wife, a mob boss, a mobster, and a hit man because I was the only one who could do the accents we wanted. Our outtakes were longer than our actual film (got great laughs though). Final grade was a 'C'.

4) At the zoo, in my younger years, a llama tried to eat my stroller.

5) Once, while waiting for admission to a haunted house, I looked down and crawling up my chest was a very large, hairy, *real* spider.

6) I once got in trouble with a teacher for shooting rubber bands around my classroom. ^^; It was done on a dare (and I honestly never go back on a dare). I had to go sit in the hall until the lesson was over and I was given a stern reprimand for disrupting the class. When I did come back into the room, I had to sit right up front near the teacher and it was humiliating...

7) In kindergarten I went on an odd, little stealing spree. Stole from teachers, friends, stores. But I felt so guilty about it that I went and stealthily gave everything back!

8) As a fourth-grader, I held my cat (Reggie) and watched as he was put to sleep. He died in my and my father's arms. As he relaxed, his tongue popped out of his mouth. I nearly laughed, because I though he was sticking his tongue out at us for holding him. It wasn't until later that I realized he had died.

9) I nearly broke (and did badly sprain) my ankle when helping my friends with a video project. I had climbed atop a fairly high sculpture and was trying to think of how to get down. Amy suggested I just jump...I said I didn't think I could make it. She urged me to. I did. The rest is painful history.

It's pretty obvious to me which is the fake one...but then, that's me ^^;; Please! Someone guess! I'd be interested to hear what people think have or haven't happened to me.
  • Current Music
    'One Week'- BNL