February 3rd, 2002

diner friends

Original characters...

Etiolate got me started thinking about this. Blame him.

Comic strip characters

From a strip that remains, as of now, untitled

Melinda: High school cutesy goth chick in 11th grade. She's short, and oddly cheerful considering the image of the walking dead that she tries to project. She has a ton of hair. No boyfriend, lives with her mum, and has a hamster named Davey.

Derick: A 12th grade preppie with a geek streak that he tries to keep hidden. He and Melinda are childhood friends because their mothers simultaneously made the decision that the two of them made a cute couple at the tender age of three. Luckily, they've shown no romatic interest in each other. Two parents, no pets, and a backpack that is weighed down with thirty pounds worth of AP textbooks.

Davey: Melinda's hamster. Self-centered, arrogant, and focused on the profound Tao of all small rodents... namely, "Feed Me" and "Don't Step On Me". He follows Melinda everywhere in her jacket pocket.

From a strip called "Zanzibar"

Jordan: Young, optimistic twenty-something whose basic charm is his naivety. When pressured, he'd say he likes "Y'know... stuff" and Winnie the Pooh. He's also big on taking risks other people would never consider.

Whitney: A tall, fierce girl about Jordan's age. When the strip begins she is living out of her van, but Jared invites her to move with him. To Zanzibar (Zanzibar, New Mexico... a completely fictional town). She claims to be completely self-sufficient, even after accepting Jordan's help and his money. She's a "woman of color trying to survive in a hostile country where 'the man' is always trying to bring us down". Actually she's Hispanic ("tan is a color...") although her grasp of the culture is nil, she still flaunts it when ever she can. Beneath it all, she's not so bad...

And that's about as far as I've gotten conceptually with those.

Characters for plays

From "The Future of America's Love" (a one-act in my head)

Jack: The absolute average husband. Dresses like Ward Cleaver and is absolutely non-offensive in every way. Not so much a character as a caricature until the very end when both he and Jill realize that they are real people...

Jill: The average housewife, the counterpart to Jack. Of course she dresses like June Cleaver.

The Narrator: An omniscient, omnipresent entity who waltzes in at the begining of the play and succeeds in seducing both Jack and Jill right off the bat... and then dumps them both in the course of a minute. He relates the significance of every occurence and Jack and Jill's background to the audience.

Jack Jr. and Jill Jr.: The future children of the happy couple. Each is "gender-confused"... meaning that Jill enters in a football helmet and Jack in a tutu and leotard. They too are more caricatures than characters, however they are completely offensive. Their presence suggests to Jack and Jill that a divorce would make both of their children grow up into unhappy, wild, depressive, homosexual adults.

From a play that I don't think I'll ever write

Laura: A woman in her mid-thirties who is mute. Her connection to the world is her pencil and pad of paper allowing her to "talk" to others. She likes to write.

Josh: Her older brother. Mild and tired, he is a journalist and he cares for Laura on a full-time basis. Their parents drowned in an accident when Laura was five.

And that's about it...

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Random jumble of thoughts...

I hate feeling like I don't belong to anything. At least with Amy I had this feeling of belonging to... well... Amy. But she didn't like that and obviously wanted to belong to a larger, more normal group of people. People that I, apparently, am not allowed to be friends with. Which is fine by me, because at the point I don't want to be friends with anyone willing to be friends with her.

But I can't seem to make new friends. Everyone's sorted themselves out by now, everyone's got the cliques straight. And I don't sort into a clique. Not because I don't want to, not because I'm too diverse or too strange, but just because I don't. I hate that. It doesn't seem fair. Now, suddenly, all I care about is what other people see when they see me. I don't have even half the self confidence I used to. I'm afraid to be onstage, I'm afraid to be in any sort of leadership position. I'm afraid to stand up in front of my English class, for christsakes.

For someone who used to perform at any given chance, social anxiety disorder is a very frightening change. I couldn't belive how uncomfortable I was just going into Acting and Directing 2. I can't believe how happy I am now that I'm in my art EO instead. I can't believe how happy an empty room makes me.

And yet I still want friends? Both Anya and Helena have been being extra nice to me, but still... I just don't see where I go, I don't see where I belong. I feel really lost. I feel pathetic. I feel sad that the only person I can still talk to freely is Stef, who is a 20 minute drive away.

In any case, I feel like shit. I miss Ryan because I miss that sort of mutual respect and I miss how nice he is.

Less than one and a half more years. One and a half years and I'm getting myself a fucking life. Because I'm sick of these games.
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