September 10th, 2002

sigh

I'm sorry for making people nervous...

Whoops on me. Thank you to everyone who replies, thinks nice thoughts, and just generally doesn't read my journal and hate me ("I think I'm paranoid"). I keep thinking I'd like to respond to the comments that get left, but I honestly never know what to say to people who comment on my 'scary posts'. So I'm issuing a general blanket thank you. I appreciate when people take time to give me their thoughts and opinions, I really, really do. But sometimes I'm just stuck on what to say back. So rather then subjecting the world to some stupidly garbled comment of mine that doesn't make much sense, I do everyone a favor and keep my hands off the keyboard.

Unless I do what I'm doing right now, of course...

Having problems coping with school work load. Which is a pretty awful thing, as I shudder to think what my schedule will be like next year (mostly art classes, I hope). Both my AP classes have homework every night. English often generates two or three assignments. In Calculus, I always have a general idea of what's going on until I look at the homework. And then... I'm just stupid. Latin is easy, but it requires... you know... listening (admittedly, not a lot) and some putting pencil to paper. Public Speaking is boring the fucking bejeezus out of me. I don't like Mrs. C.; I don't think she's a good teacher. I guess that we'll eventually be making speeches and that will be fun, but... right now... urg. It's so boring and so much common sense and she makes me feel like an idiot whenever I try to answer a question, so now I just won't talk anymore. Plus medication makes me sleepy in the morning. I still think that class had to be a dream because today it involved the reading of a Sesame Street fairy tale where practically every word started with 'D'. Can you imagine the psychodelic imprint that left on my tired brain? It's seems so goofy now.

And I drew a complicated machine today. That is my life.
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