October 24th, 2002

bright

*crawls in*

I just got home. Just. Got home. From school.

Yes, today was the Fall Festival of Four Decent Choirs and One Sucky Choir! :D And I'm pretty sure we weren't the sucky choir. How lovely. But it was a good... many hours of rehearsal. How many? Enough.

And also running around the practice rooms and... Brandy horkin' up a big ol' loogie on one of the windows. :D And... maturity! And... not. But that's ok.

I suppose tomorrow is Raven-ness, isn't it? Where can I hide? >___> I have never been to that assembly and I never want to.

Just don't ask.

So, right now (well, not right at this minute... but now. Today) I'm trying to decide whether I want job security when I grow up. Do I want to draw and try to make a living at something that I'm not completely comfortable with, not completely confident in myself? This is a big question. I'm really frightened to go to college and get an art degree that is useless. Or that I will never be good enough to market and sell my work... or that I'm not competitive enough. Or not working at a high enough level. Or that my talent is... non-existent.

So... and understand that I'm keeping this is the back of my mind... I'm seriously considering going into "mortuary sciences". Or... undertaking.

I know how strange this sounds. But it's been an interest of mine for many, many years. And I'm currently an amateur rubbernecker... I'm just wondering whether I should take my interest to the professional level. I wonder whether I should limit myself and my ambitions. I'm afraid I'm reaching too high, currently, and am just considering whether it would be beneficial to pull back a little. The pessimistic part of me is whispering that my art will never reach publication, that I'll never be able to survive and make money.

I'm going to go write the outline for my speech now.
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