January 7th, 2003



It's dinner time and I'm too lazy to want to go out and eat. But I'm kind of hungry, so I guess it'll happen. Reluctance may have something to do with having to have discussion about psychiatrist at dinner, however. No! I want to bury it in a hole and pretend it doesn't exist. *shoves fingers in ears* Lalalalalalalalala...

And oh my god, I'm making so many typos. It's weird. I spell things wrong and think they're right but they aren't. >_< Like trying to spell 'love' as 'lice'. Uh... what? *hyperhyperhyper*

Here's a serious question for you all: do you ever hear voices, but are not diagnosed with schizophrenia or any mental disorder that would cause something like that? Because lately I've started hearing weird things... music that isn't there, voices, etc. I don't tend to hear things when I'm being active or talking to friends, but if I lay down and actively try to relax I start to hear people talking. They never say more than a sentence or two, they're nobody I recognize, I don't see any faces, they don't tell me to do things or talk to each other. Mostly they say innocuous things like "Where did I put my keys?" or "Well, this is how I see it..." None of them sounds familiar, nothing feels like a memory. They aren't characters. It's just random people. Talking. In my head.

I wish they'd shut up.
  • Current Music
    Michael Jackson - Thriller

Damn. Not again.

Another song for which I don't know the artist or title. But it goes... "You're a coward, you're a liar, you should light yourself on fire." So... if you know who performs it or the title or whatever, I'd be happy to know. I hope it isn't another local band because then I'm fucked a second time around. (still can't find "Razorblade" by Mercury *whines*)

Ow... foot's asleep. In other news, I wore grey slacks today. Lovely. I like them. Also wore white shirt that is Grandmother's attempt to get me to dress better. Seems to be working out all right, however white shirts are not good for me as I tend to get art supplies and cat hair on them. *pokes little blotches of red pen* Le sigh.

Also wore mohair scarf from Scotland. People seem to like scarf.

Line memorization bad. Still not anywhere near done, however am doing better than I was yesterday.

Wanna see the complex but super-awesomely cool sounding song we're doing for choir? Go here. "Wade in de Water" arranged by Allan Koepke. Very cool sounding. I don't think we'll actually pull it off, but one can hope.

And... for the discriminating William Blake fan... *grins* "Tyger, Tyger", and I do wish we were doing that instead of odd little Russian folk song. Even with the "brinda brinda"s.

Additionally, danke schon to those who responded to my question about hearing voices. *hugs* Makes me feel a little bit better to know that I've not yet gone completely mad. And it's so true... nobody ever asks whether I hear voices talking about the weather... they always assume these voices have to be telling you to do something. I suppose because it's both more threatening and more interesting.
  • Current Music
    SR-71 - Tomorrow