August 7th, 2003

benevolence

GIP

Yeah. Because I do. And Cheat icons can let me pretend that I'm not fighting with anybody and nor do I hate myself. *prepares to cry self to sleep or something else disgustingly stupid*
  • Current Music
    Mad at Gravity - Walk Away
benevolence

MuhhuhuHUH? >__>

“Dear Sir, my name is Daisy, I am a cow. I wish to take my own life, so please send me three buckets of anthrax, as anthrax is designed to kill cattle and I want to end it all right now. P.S.: I cannot shoot myself as I have no opposable thumbs.”

Just a little celebration because I found the Dress to Kill transcript and now know how to spell “Le singe est sur la branche” and not just say it.

That, and I wanted to use this icon again. And I really, really don't want to get dressed and go to work. >__< Stupid job. Stupid Kaman's Fest... if I'm not fired, that is.

I'm a real bitch, aren't I?
  • Current Mood
    Squinchy-eyed
squallxlaguna

I'm really quite terrible...

Still not at work. I'd like to claim pain in the diodes down my left side, but really it's just pain in my lungs (I'm assuming lungs... bronchial tubes, perhaps) and mucous. And an awful fear of going outside and either a) being infected again or b) being burned to a crisp due to medication making my already light-sensitive self positively vampiric. That, and I don't want to go to Kaman's Fest. That, and I don't want to work at the main stand.

I don't want to work main. I don't even want to work Hyde's. I want to work on Sea Side all of the time, I think, regardless of the difficulty. Sea Side makes me feel secure, while Ride Side makes me stressed. It's a people thing. Fewer people on Sea Side and more of them have kids. Many more people on Ride Side, most of them loud and my age. I don't react well to loud noises or my generation, so I think we have discovered the problem.

I will go back and work Sunday at Shark. I WILL. >__< I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO AVOID IT ANY LONGER. I hope. I did this at school... staying away for a long time and then getting freaked about coming back.

Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention... I finished Good Omens a few days ago and am now enamoured of Crowley/Aziraphale and pretty much anything involving Famine or War. Anybody have fan art/fic recs for me? *puppy dogs eyes* GOOD fic recs, anyway. I've been flipping through what's on ff.net with limited success.

ETA: I also wrote a Marty/George fic for the latest contrelamontre challenge. >_< Not one of my stronger ones, I fear.
  • Current Music
    REM - Losing My Religion
fuck you

Oooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. >___< !!!

Arrgh. Again.

You know that feeling of not being welcome in your own home? I'm starting to feel like my father resents my presence, which has been (admittedly) very constant the past few days (as in the last time I left the house was Monday for the doctor's appointment). But, what? I mean, seriously. I can't even stay downstairs with him for more than two minutes before I start to get the "vibes." The "I don't want you here" vibes. The "I don't want to talk, so you'd better not open your mouth" vibes. And I just sit there like "What the fuck? What'd I do?"

It's interesting how when other people are mad, they seem to find that innate ability to push me out of places where I should have every right to be. I never do this. Because I'm weak. I'm always the one who retreats and it makes me so fucking angry. *punches things* I should be able to sit in the living room and yell at the Law and Order people on the screen without feeling like I'm some sort of leper. I live here, too... right?

So, I'd really love to talk to somebody who doesn't hate my guts right now, but I guess that's out of the question. Seeing as everyone bloody hates me. Stupid, fuck-up that I am, even when I don't know what I did.

Collapse )
  • Current Music
    Corey Taylor - Bother (Appropriate, huh?)