November 12th, 2003

precious

THE THINGS I DO FOR MY FUCKING... CATS!

Oh my god. I am covered in scratches and mud. SCRATCHES AND MUD! And I am seriously going to kill that fucking guy with the leafblower. HE IS NOT MAKING THIS EASIER!

I totally saw my cat. I was in the road, he was back by some brambles. I'm like "AHHH! GREEBO!" And start trying to get his attention but it's too far. And then a dog on a neighbor's porch sees me, starts barking, and Greebo turns and plunges into the brambles. I'm like "SHIT!" And I run after him, which I'm sure looked great because I was wearing my father's shoes (too big) and the ground was muddy so I kept having to rebalance myself as I ran. So then I get over there and I'm cooing and calling his name. I hear a meow. I run back to get a box of food. I spend hours trying to find this cat. Hours. As in more than one. Then some boys said they had seen him and we went fucking around the complex, but no... and it was the wrong cat anyway. At least I think so. I'm not sure the cat they meant was the cat we saw...

LEAFBLOWER MAN, I WILL KILL YOU, BUT FIRST I WILL CHOP OFF YOUR NUTS AND GIVE THEM TO MY TWO REMAINING CATS.

And why the hell is there a goddamned thicket in the middle of a complex of condominiums? GRR. I AM MAD. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE.

*sigh*

*head falls into hands*
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