December 30th, 2003

precious

I keep trying to write something...

And then stopping midway through and deleting everything. It's just whining, after all, and my capacity for being comforted is fairly limited. That being said, feel free to ignore... whatever. I just don't have anyone to talk to, so... (and I was supposed to have a counselor's appointment today, but she called in sick. My luck is just that great.)

I've been getting angry over little things this past week. Very angry, with no real reason... over very little things. Off-hand remarks about a book or a movie, being asked to repeat myself, false cheerfulness, almost anything. People treating me as if they expect me to act rationally, arguing with my emotions, not understanding... I don't know. I don't want to be alone, but whenever someone else makes an effort I get angry almost immediately. I get defensive, I want to isolate myself, I want to hurt them... the whole gamut. I can't say I'm not angry with the individual people or that it doesn't have anything to do with them, because it does... it's just not the same as, you know, healthy person mad. And I don't want to use that as an excuse for being immature and nasty... but I can't really control this. In the selfish quagmire of depression and all else, I really can't control or do much. You know... sorry.
  • Current Mood
    unhappy
what I think of you

... dude.

I am in complete awe.

Yes, that enraptured plea makes me want to stop doing something I like, something that is not quite as illegal as this person seems to think. That's the best part about intellectual property, isn't it? Those big ol' gaping grey areas.

Okay, what if I rip out every other page so that it’s not exactly what Alice Sebold wrote, is that illegal? Yes.

Except that it sort of... isn't. I mean, it'd be "illegal" in the sense that, in this scenario, she'd be defacing a library book. Probably have to pay a fine. But there's nothing in copyright law that dictates how you are meant to use the item you purchase. I could have bought that book to put under an uneven chair leg. Is that illegal? Uh, no. And then I ripped out the pages because my great grandmother was dying and I needed something to mop up the blood... is that illegal? Damn straight! Arrest me right now!

God, it's just... the sheer holier-than-thou tone of it. Like we're all somehow grossly mistaken, and once we see the error of our ways... we'll just stop? Uh, no. I know it's wrong, I like it, I do it anyway, and I doubt that anyone will ever bother me about my piddly fan stories for movies hardly anyone gives a backward glance to.

Also, copyright law differs from country to country. One more reason why I want to go live on an island somewhere. (P.S. My icon is probably illegal too.)
  • Current Music
    Colorfinger - Separation