February 12th, 2004

love

... crummy physical world.

My body is awash with unpleasant sensations. And, of course, the more I think about them, the worse they become.

But, mostly, I think this is an eating thing. Adderall decreases appetite, particularly mine, and I have yet to adjust my eating habits accordingly. And so, I often find myself eating something and then feeling sick a few minutes later. *sigh* I wish we didn't have to eat; it's too damn difficult.

I started thinking about my new journal layout and I actually became sad. Yes, sad. I keep trying to tell myself that it isn't like I'm moving or anything... and I'll take a screencap of the old one, so I won't lose it forever... but the point is that I seem to become ridiculouly attached to inconsequential things. Thank you, "abandonment complex." Or BPD, it's hard to tell.

Was pleased with myself earlier, though, when I finished panther's "card." Digital card, yeah... I'm just hoping he won't take a look and think "what in the world is wrong with you?" My paranoia knows no bounds. But I got my card from him in the mail today... well, actually, I got two red envelopes--one from him and one from mom. :D Yay. Mom's was pretty and it has a little cut-out heart in it that amuses me to no end. Panther's was... so perfect. It has a Shar-pei on the front, like Satchel. *ridiculous grinning* Makes me think I ought to go find something with a Siamese on it though.

He also included lovely George/Marty pr0n... you can imagine my absolute amazed contentment. Of course, in the back of my mind I'm going "shoulda drawn porn... shoulda drawn porn." Oh well, too late.

Sorry to anyone who is displeased with the amount of V-Day fluff I'm exuding. But this is the first time I've ever been able to actually feel... y'know... happy about the stupid holiday. I gots me TWO Valentines! :D ghostgecko, naturally, and the ever wunderbar glorybox... whose "card" I'll be finishing tomorrow, I hope. So I plan to take advantage of this rarity and be pleased, I suppose.
  • Current Music
    Madonna - Papa Don't Preach