February 20th, 2004

starved

Vomit, vomit, vomit...

I really don't understand why eating makes me nauseated. Tomorrow, I think I will just try not-eating and see whether that goes any better. Brilliant strategy, no?

I'm beginning to feel rather frustrated with writing in general, mostly because I feel like I'm rehashing the same ideas over and over and all I'm changing is the symbolism. Particularly when it comes to Willard and Harry Potter fic. Same issues, I just make them more and more incomprehensible each time (like The Carpenter's Son... I mean, what the hell?) which is why seeing a fairly logical criticism of Icarus Branded that reads "Weird and unfocused and short, but pretty, and I really like the title. And the idea of scratching an angel's wings" should not make me want to thwack my head against the desk in frustration.

When I write, I tend to drop the potential reader right into the middle of a situation and, while I try to carry the scene to a discernable end, I never actually write the end. My stories are all middles (which means that they're also nice and short, generally); no beginning or end, just a middle. The reader makes up the beginning and the end, because it's too much work for me and I have a very short attention span and limited amount of creativity. It's tantamount to art that leaves out a crucial line or feature because the artist knows the viewer will fill in the details for himself and actually adding the detail in the picture would make it too crowded or bulky. In other words, I prefer to write "slim" stories. "Svelte," perhaps. Inkwash, not oils.

My mistake comes in assuming that people understand or like this style. Actually, sometimes the mistake is much more blatant on my part... I assume that I've made it possible for whatever concept I was trying to convey to get across (The Carpenter's Son, That Feeling..., The Immortal Mind Remains, and Love Song are all stories that stick out to me as examples of this... conversely, stories like Taking Risks, Round Table and God From the Machine are ones where I feel I pushed or struggled with a concept too damn much and sort of ruined it) when, usually, I haven't. Plus, people seem to really like their beginnings and ends and are occasionally upset that I just sort of bypass all that. People want elaboration and plot, but that's where I cop out.

And I just read a rumor that Sam Rockwell was going to be playing Zaphod Beeblebrox in this (doomeddoomeddoomed) Hitchhiker's movie...? How true is this? Somebody, anybody? Because Sam would actually make a loverly Zaphod. I think. And I'm biased because GUH Sam. Tiny man, big personality, secretly dated Crispin Glover, youknowitmustbetrue! Well. They would have been a cute couple, at least.
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