March 11th, 2004


Upset for no particular reason...

Maybe I'm just tired.

Maybe I just hate the tangled relationship my ISP and my computer have.

Maybe I'm just bothered by the fact that I'm having problems breathing again, coupled with chest pain.

Had a good talk with ghostgecko this morning in lieu of going to my therapist, seeing as I'd much rather talk to him than to my therapist any day. You see, I do believe he's gotten a bit exasperated with my erratic medication-taking and subsequent mood swings/freaking out/threats of suicide, so he's started calling me in the morning to say "take your pills." I'm afraid that I'm being a drain on his funds, but I've enjoyed talking to him the past couple mornings. (As my mother put it when told about the new pill-calls, "See? If that isn't love, it's at least deep affection.")

Also had a nice talk with my mother today, so... a good day for me and talking. Or, for me and talking to anyone who isn't my father (or my therapist, ha). Not such a good talk, that. I suppose he's upset with my grandfather's behavior and Alzheimer's... now there's something I don't know how to or feel like dealing with.

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what I think of you


Am feeling... petulant, I guess. I seem to be pretty good at sitting down in front of my computer and going, "Hey! I really suck!"

And nothing seems to prompt it. Not thinking about being worthless or worrying about the future or worrying about money or self-hatred... none of those thoughts. Just a sort of generalized depression. Everything does not suck, but I am nonetheless unhappy.

Applied to run a Herbert/Dan fanlisting, to operate in conjunction with a Re-Animator slash site. Have a pretty good handle on what I want to do with the layout... my only stumper is that, if I align the main content left, I should have a chunk of space going unused on the right. I was thinking about putting in a sidebar, but I'm not sure what sort of content I could stick there... more links? A picture? A set of randomized pictures? Fanlisting affiliates? Features? Or just scrap the sidebar idea? I am torn.

Suggestions welcome. I'ma go do something else now, I suppose.

ETA: Also for text on the splash page: "Herbert West has a very good head on his shoulders... and another one between his legs." Too dirty? Too stupid? Too confusing? The name of the site is going to be Mad Scientists Give Good Head (don't blame me; ghostgecko thought it up, and I'm just stealing). So am I going overboard with the 'head' thing? Again, suggestions welcome.
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