April 15th, 2008

y u no luv me?

Depression sucks

Like, I don't know how to convey how shitty it gets. People still sort of look at you funny unless they've also experienced it.

So, I'm supposed to be coming off of Effexor XR. I was at 300 mg, and after several lethargic months I have been able to come down to, uh, 187.5 mg. I tried to go down to 150 mg last week and my body was like, hell no. Basically slept all week. That sucks, since I didn't go to classes and now I've got a couple of essays to write. :( This is no good. Effexor + Adderall went from keeping me relatively alert to causing this evil somnolence, starting about a year ago. Admittedly, if I haul myself up at an appropriate time and take the afternoon dose of Adderall, I sometimes seem to function acceptably. But it varies. Anyway, this is why I don't get shit done, in case you were curious.

Oh god, I continue to be frustrated with other people's ideas about morality and good and bad as it applies to a cheesy 1960s TV show. Yes, I'm a very silly person, but I'm honestly a little disturbed by the tendency of a lot of fans to assume that the protagonists of Man From UNCLE are all-around good guys. Maybe I'm just an incredible cynic. Or maybe seeing them playing so smugly good all the damn time makes me want to see them fail. A lot. :/ Ha, I'm such a bastard.

Oh, except that this song might be the most perfect love song I've ever heard. Sure, it could be cheesy, except for the lyrics: "Somebody crowd me with love, / Somebody force me to care, / Somebody make me come through, / I'll always be there, / As frightened as you, / To help us survive / Being alive." Oh, just watch the video.