July 29th, 2008


No, not really.

So, adding to the list of things I don't get: straight person bars without live bands or anything interesting going on. We went to some bar a few nights ago because one of Rachel's friends was going away, and I spent two hours mostly drinking diet coke, eating peanuts, and doodling in Rachel's little notepad. It's just boring and hard to talk to people. I'm actually not that opposed to socializing sometimes. But I prefer to talk to people, not shout at them. And I'm basically slutty at heart, so I'm cool with trying to pick people up to have sex with them... it's just that I really don't need to get massively drunk in order to give out blowjobs. I'M JUST SAYING, OKAY, SHUT UP.

Aargh and then it was like four am and I'm sitting here angsting over how I can never just write anything that reads normally and practically everything I write has this dreamy, disjointed quality to it that I HATE. Maybe I just keep picking dreamy, disjointed ideas, I don't know, but it is completely pissing me off. It's like, I just want to write a straight narrative about some gay spies, so do we have to make it all pretentious? My mind says yes, in fact, and let's make it schizophrenic and ADD as well!

Also I stayed up for like 24 hours because of not taking Effexor, which pretty much confirmed that it has totally changed and is causing this extreme somnolence and making me eat a lot because then on just the Adderall I was like, "Oh my god I am so tired of food. Food sucks."

Now I'm being all contrary, like, I don't want to watch this movie that I've sort of wanted to see for awhile because I don't want to watch it with someone in my ear going "See how good this is? See? See?" I hate that, it is truly the most irritating thing ever. Just leave it with me and I will watch it when I want, kthx.

Thank you if you replied to my last post. I still need to reply to a lot of those. I'm sorry, this is a much more grumpy and curmudgeon-y post of things that are bugging me. Also, my necks hurts. And there are some damn kids on my lawn. >:(