And I don't know why I'm so scared. Do other people get this scared? I mean, I'm really frightened. I feel like... like I have all these responsibilities and things I absolutely, positively need to do and I don't think I can. I'm afraid I can't. And I think tomorrow is supposed to be a field trip to the art museum, but I missed today, and I'm supposed to have a quiz tomorrow in public speaking and I hate that class. And I've already missed two play practices and I only get to miss three total. And I still have math to do from over the weekend. And then I'll have two more math assignments to do and I'm afraid I won't know how to do them. And I still have to finish the background on my art homework. And instead of just being annoyed or bored or unhappy I get really scared. And I no longer have any time to draw what I want to draw or just vegetate without feeling so afraid.
I hate school so, so much because I'm so scared of it. Last year I guess I didn't really care, but this year maybe I do care. Or I'm sure that I'm going to be failing classes. Or I'm just so afraid of having to move on and leave high school soon. I'm afraid everything will change. But I don't want everything to change because then I lose my security. I want to feel safe, but I don't.
I seem to write a lot of entries like this.