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03 January 2003 @ 08:37 pm
Some very interesting notes about homosexuality and the theatre...  
Now, some of you may know that I am pretty deeply immersed in acting shit. Some people like to call this "theatre", and they say it (and spell it) so pretentiously that it deserves the italics.

I like to call it "hell", but that may be just my personal preference.

The question that, of course, comes up now is "Why do you still do it if you hate it so much?" But that is a topic for a different post that I may never write.

Anyway, theatre is magic. Really and truly. But not because of the transformation actors have to submit themselves to, or the minimalist properties a good set utilizes. No, it's magic... because it's all about taking a group of people who positively hate each other and making it seem like they love each other (and sometimes vice versa, but not often).

What's really fascinating is that actors tend to be very touchy-feely, lovely-dovey, sappy-wappy people (I feel a bit like Jane Goodall... Thespians in the Mist or somesuch. An outside observer). Very outgoing, very... well, flamboyant, for lack of a better word. And theatre is very sexual. Which is why everyone is always hooking up and doing naughty things during productions (not my theory, Helena's). or wanting to hook up. Or going around draping themselves all over other people (Steve... >_>). And they are doing this with people they don't actually like very much. That's the fun bit.

Which is why people think actors are horny, gay, and easy. All of us. Drama is one giant, swinging orgy. Every night after rehearsals. And you aren't invited.

You can argue that this conclusion is flimsy and silly beyond belief. And that's okay, because I'm not going to listen to you anyway. :D

No, if you don't believe me, believe Jamie, a real live non-actor. He came to a rehearsal one day for Up the Down Staircase for no particular reason. We were talking and he said to me "You know, I always thought of Drama Guild as a real hotbed of homosexual activity." I said "Ah... and we've proven you right, then?"

He said "Yeah, pretty much."

This little anecdote means very little unless you've actually seen about five people crushed together on the radiator, sharing snacks and pouring over the latest Cosmo. Or Pat in drag. Or... Alice pretending to take off her underwear. And so on and so forth.

And this sort of thing actually gets worse when a) the cast is large and b) when the run of the show/the run of rehearsals goes on for-bloody-ever. Think about it. Forty-some horny people forced into repeated contact with thirty-nine other people they can't stand but still want to have sex with. It's madness.

And now we go ahead and apply this equation to the cast of the Lord of the Rings movies. Go ahead. Think about it. I'll wait.

Mmm. Interesting isn't it? Therefore, I make the astonishing conclusion that, whether or not much of the cast actually is sleeping together, they are most definitely thinking about it. Considering it. Daydreaming. Or... they were. As all the urges tend to fade after productions end. Therefore, while all of the Real People Fiction is fiction...

... some of it may not be too far off the mark.

Aaaaaaand. This is all true. ( "...put that in an ironic typeface or something, for the Americans." - Ian McKellen)
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me
Your Momsilent_hotaru on January 3rd, 2003 05:53 pm (UTC)
that made me laugh. thank you.
DrWormdrworm on January 3rd, 2003 05:55 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. :D That was the general intention, yes...
Astriddigitalhalogen on January 4th, 2003 12:12 am (UTC)
<<(Steve... >_>)>> Wah ha ha ha! So true, so true.
Oh, Stephanie. You make livejournal worth reading.
DrWorm: zootdrworm on January 4th, 2003 08:40 am (UTC)
*takes a bow* Thank you.

And poor Steve. Sometimes I think the rest of the world has decided his sexuality for him, and he gets no say in it...
Mimmimine on January 4th, 2003 01:37 am (UTC)
That was interesting! (wish for once more in my life that I were in the least bit artistic). I don't know to what extent it applies to LOTR RPS. I'm under the impression that there is so much because a) Writing Tolkien-based slash is very hard, b) Interspecies slash is a total hassle (man/elf is sexy but man/hobbit v. squicky), c) You can work with two levels in the relationship, how the two actors feel their characters relate to each other and how they relate to each other (a bit like what happens in the film The French Lieutenant's Woman), d) The pairing combinations are endless.

I can't say I had any preconception of all actors being gay or bi. Open to new possibilities, certainly. Open-minded. More uninhibited. But I guess it's fair to think that with all the romances and mariages we hear about, that have began in film sets, it's fair to think that several homosexual affairs have also started and were kept secret.

I can't believe I'm seriously considering actorslash. I used to hate it *hangs head in shame*

Loved the Ian McKellen quote in the end.


DrWorm: zootdrworm on January 4th, 2003 08:45 am (UTC)
Yes... all that you say is quite true. *nodsnods*

And I know I definitely feel guilty for taking such an interest in RPS because I used to hate it as well. Well, not hate it. Fear it. But then that was back when I was persuing acting as a possible career, so maybe it was just some sort of residual paranoia transfer... thing. Now it just calls to me like heroin calls to an addict. Or... something.

And Ian McKellen rules all.
Post-Dramatic Stress Disorderdisc_sophist on January 4th, 2003 06:50 am (UTC)

*sniff* It's all so true!
My RPS is justified (enough for me, anyway). For this, I thank you.

Y'know what's even more fun? A theater troupe that has had basically the same members for nearly three years... It's almost getting more like incest than plain old sex. hmph.
DrWorm: zootdrworm on January 4th, 2003 08:49 am (UTC)
The end justifies the means. But then, I've always wondered about that...

And... yes. The ongoing shows with little cast turnover (or no turnover whatsoever) are fun because the level of interesting action backstage often surpasses that happening onstage. *snorts* It's fun. It's family.
(Deleted comment)
DrWormdrworm on January 4th, 2003 05:57 pm (UTC)
Underclassmen positively rule. :D They're the only people who seem to think I'm at all cool. Wonderful for the self-esteem.