DrWorm (drworm) wrote,
DrWorm
drworm

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Umm...I dunno...

Ok...so my life is kinda sucking right now. Reason one: I'm scared. There's just no other way to put it. I'm scared. I'm scared because soon I'm going to have to start a new year of school and start doing a bunch of things I really don't want to do. I'll have to answer to people again, and pretend to be friends with so many people I despise. But I'm also scared because I don't ever want to leave school...despite all my bitching, it's easy and it's not adulthood. It's that one place where you have a certain amount of freedom, but aren't still responsible for paying bills and having an adult life with a career, a spouse, and 2.5 beautiful children. And a dog, probably.
Reason two: I got yelled at yesterday by our director for 'All in the Timing'. Actually, everyone got yelled at. But I don't take yelling well, I don't take accusations well, and it's still making me feel somewhat...unpleasent. Once again, it's backstage politics making everything fucked up. Bill said something mean to Ryan (very, very mean...I guess. It upset him a lot) and Ryan left. That scared me too. I don't like not knowing what's wrong and no one is being particularly forthcoming with information (with good reason, I guess...but it's exasperating).
Reason three: I feel really powerless. What do you do when you care about someone, but can't go anything to make everything better, can't help somebody who's not doing well? It's so frustrating, and no matter what I say, it all seems to fall on deaf ears. I can't deal well with it. It's frightening. It's stressful.
On the plus side, I finished my Trigun fic and my deoderent smells like rasberries. But that's it.
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