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13 January 2004 @ 08:45 pm
This is so stupid...  
Ever feel like no one is listening to you? Jesus Christ...

So, I went ahead and did my 'official' cry for help bit. "Hello, I'm on and off suicidal, not taking my medication for no good reason, severely depressed, hiding in my house, and happily lashing out at my only 'friend.' Do you think something's wrong here?"

Apparently not. The basic reaction was "Oh well. You should stop acting like that."

And, for good measure, I'm now set up to take two classes at KSU. I'm a couple of days behind already, I don't have a parking permit, and I don't know where the classes are held. Great. That's really helping. Thank you. I hate you so much.

In theory I want to take classes and get a job. In practice, I want to claw my father's eyes out and then go jump off of a building.
 
 
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: Nirvana - In Bloom
 
 
 
The Happy Misanthrope And Facet Of The Gestalt: Hug Medavechicken on January 13th, 2004 03:07 pm (UTC)
*offers the bwankie*

People can be arses. Find someone who listens, love.
VimesLady: Darknessvimeslady on January 13th, 2004 03:18 pm (UTC)
I'm listening, for whatever that may be worth. It sux that you did the 'right' thing, and got such a lousy response.

Gods, if I said I was sometimes suicidal and/or intentionally not taking my medication, I'd better already be packed for the hospital. The one time I ever called a suicide hotline they sicced the cops on me (and I ended up in the psych ward).

On the other hand, my therapist never answers her telephone. Never. Her recording says, "If this is an emergency, call 911."
Classy kinda sassy: trident!simmysim on January 13th, 2004 04:11 pm (UTC)
this is the only place i can use this icon. :P

i donno. i've had people ignore outbursts of my own with that condescending "it's that time of the month" kind of feel. it's horrible that they would dismiss something like that.

and as soon as you figure all the class stuff out, you will get caught up. you are a smart cookie. ^.^

*holds your father's arms back for you*
Cathryn (formerly catslash)remindmeofthe on January 14th, 2004 08:52 am (UTC)
***hugs***
Adamadamchristopher on January 14th, 2004 10:15 am (UTC)
I'm listening. But that doesn't matter. I know how you feel. This is what I've figured out from my own experience: if no one will listen or take you seriously, at some point, you just have to listen to yourself. You have to be there for yourself when no one else will be. What would be the ideal response? Ask yourself what you would like the reaction to be when you share your feelings. That way you can either help other people understand exactly what the nature of the help is that you crave or else you can just bypass unreliable, unsupportive others and cultivate the inner strength to help yourself. Which takes practice and years. It's all in you though. Sorry you're not getting a very sympathetic ear of late. That sucks.
I suspect that once you do get situated in your classes it will help a lot to stabilize you. Your mind is so great, and I mean great with a capital G, you really need something to sink your intellectual teeth into. Also, the regularity of scheduled classes and assignments due will be good for you. Hang in there. =)