DrWorm (drworm) wrote,

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... maaaaaaan.

Why do I always fuck everything up? I hate this instability and irrationalness... it shouldn't be a character trait, it shouldn't. I wasn't always like this; once upon a time you could trust me or talk to me without something upsetting coming up. Once upon a time I could walk in a crowded area and not feel like I was getting ready to have a panic attack or start kicking ass. I mean, seriously... when did it become "fight or flight?" When did I decide that the world was against me?

Sometimes everything just hurts and it makes me think I'm too sensitive. Like my body wants to break into a million pieces. Scatter the ashes, haha. Into the wind, over the ocean, sleep with the fishes. Bottom of the ocean, so dark and peaceful.

My own selfishness and inconsistency makes me so frustrated; I wish all this constant change would stop. You'renotsickyou'renotsickyou'renotsick so stop acting this way, goddammitgoddamitgoddammit! If I was someone else, I would slap me. I don't have the patience for this.

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