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25 February 2004 @ 04:06 pm
Then why not every man?  
My mother noticed, quite rightly, that I haven't posted anything in my journal since I talked about Miss Leonard's death last Saturday. This is for a few reasons, most of them illogical on my part. I wanted to keep it pushed to the forefront for a little while, just to prolong the time before everything and everyone started moving on.

The deaths of others is a topic that's been eating away at me... sudden death, the unexpected, uncertainty. It can be nerve-racking. I want the people that I care about to be a lot closer, so I can keep an eye on them. Particularly after Lew called yesterday and opened with "Well, I almost got killed today." Brush with a cement truck that forced him off the road. He's not hurt, but... it doesn't take much to get the fear glands pumping.

Also, according to my father, Alzheimer's seems to be the diagnosis for my grandfather, who turned 88 on February 2nd. He's begun thinking that his mother visits every morning. I hate that disease. I never want to grow to be so old. Suicide is attractive as a means of controlling the inevitable, in the face of the fact that the point of life appears not to have control over that at all.

Whatever. Here's a drawing I started shortly after hearing about Miss Leonard. It's not dedicated to her, mostly because it has little to do with her or the person I knew her as; it's just not in her more upbeat spirit. It was more a way to vent my own frustrations.

Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Moses Hogan Chorale - Didn't My Lord Deliver Daniel
VimesLady: Darknessvimeslady on February 25th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC)
I'm going to print out that piece of art on the best paper and the best quality my printer can achieve. And then I'm going to agonize over where I want to hang it. If that's all right with you, I mean.

I've spent three days with my mother, who is 87. She's a little feeble, but she's really doing quite well physically for someone that age, and her mind is intact. She just doesn't seem to have any reason to go on living. She's outlived just about everyone but me, and I live 1800 miles away. It seems like we spent all our time talking about old age and death. This art really resonates with me after that.
DrWorm: jarringdrworm on February 27th, 2004 05:34 pm (UTC)
Wow. Go right ahead and print it out, whatever... my mother says she printed it out too, oddly enough.

I'm glad it resonates, although somewhat surprised... like I said, this was really just venting my own frustrations, so in my eyes it's more of a mishmash of personal visual babbling. I sometimes forget that other people experience similar losses and emotions...

I'm sorry about your mother... I know living to be in their 80s has been hard for my father's parents. Not easy to live so long, physically or mentally...
bookiekatzebot on February 25th, 2004 04:47 pm (UTC)
Like, wow. I love it. I really, really do.
The protector of italian virginityetiolate on February 25th, 2004 07:14 pm (UTC)
i love that drawing
Adamadamchristopher on February 26th, 2004 11:38 pm (UTC)
woah, that is awesome dr worm, i must say