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12 March 2004 @ 09:19 pm
Fuck everything...  
Accomplished today: laundry, rat maintenance, reread The Phantom Tollbooth...

All between violent bursts of crying (haha, another one coming, I so suck).

I hate the fact that my father is back. He's not acknowledging my presence anyway, so I probably shouldn't be bothered, but just the fact that he's in the house is making me unhappy. Feels like I can't breathe; I got used to being able to actually live in my house instead of holing up in my little room and surviving on Diet Coke and the Internet.

God, I'm so sick of drowning my pillow in tears and snot. When will this just end? Never, never, never, and I'm so tired of these emotional maelstroms that I can't predict or control and that leave me feeling even more broken. I just want to go back in time to when I was still able to function sort of like a normal human being.

I whine too much, but I have no one else to talk to...
Current Mood: exanimatekill me
Current Music: Prozzak - Infatuation
VimesLady: Darkness (Sam)vimeslady on March 12th, 2004 09:37 pm (UTC)
And here I was worrying about you being alone while your father was gone. Sounds like you got along better without him.

This won't go on forever. Maybe your medication needs to be changed (but it's difficult to tell unless you take it regularly). Maybe you'll have some sort of sudden breakthrough, or maybe you'll come out of it gradually. But it won't go on forever. Unfortunately, being convinced that it will sort of goes with the territory.

Feel free to complain. There's not much your friends can say, but we are here to listen.