Oh god, okay, so it's pathetically obvious that I have this massive crush on young Martin Landau. He's got such a weird, ugly-pretty face, and just... goddamn. Those eyebrows! Blue eyes, dark and wavy hair, tall and skinny, big soft lips... ummmm. Listen, I need a time machine to the 1950s. I am exceedingly smitten, damn him.

Anyway, I took some screencaps of him in a 1959 episode of The Twilight Zone called "Mr. Denton on Doomsday." He plays an evil cowboy. Seriously. Named Dan Hotaling. Except he kind of sucks at being evil and is a wuss. He's also really, really gay. I'm serious, and I will offer proof.

First of all, this is one of the first shots:



Yes, he's pouring alcohol on this guy's face. Oh lord, what an obviously phallic shot. Hello there, symbolic ejaculation.

Then he teases him a bit, happening to say "C'mon, Denton" in a delightfully cajoling and sexified way.

But wait, there's more!



LOL lookit that hip swivel.

So anyway, he's trying to get Denton to sing yet again (ah, the time before jukeboxes) in exchange for a drink. But the barmaid (or the burlesque girl or whoever she is) is all "Al, don't do it."

Al Denton: He'll give me a drink, Miss Smith.
Miss Smith: The Devil with him, I'll give you one too and you won't have to do that for it!

What does he do? He starts singing! And so, chooses the boy over the girl. Dan then tells him he's been a good boy. Mmmm. Then they have a gun fight, and if you use the equation of guns = dicks, it's homoerotic as fuck.

Then some other stuff happens, I guess.



OH AND HE CAN KICK. Without breaking eye contact. Crispin has competition. (Speaking of, they are both doing voices in this movie, huh.)



He got shot on the wrist by Mr. Denton. Oh god, look at that face. He's such a pussy.



So he gets laid out by Mr. Denton... with his legs spread wide open.



Oh god, pretty face, pretty face. Also, ahahaha, nostrils. <3 This is like halfway between a scared face and a sex face, I'm convinced.

Anyway, Denton ends it by bitchslapping Dan so hard he falls to the floor.



Pussy.

Here's a link to the episode online. Sorry it's not on youtube, but they keep taking it down. :( Which means this might not be up for much longer either. Also, sorry it's stretched out like that, I don't know why.

If you want more serious pretentious analysis of stuff, I started up an actual blog for that. Right now it's just got a couple of my cult films papers, so it's more on the srs bsns end of things. No, really, I can do this without being stupid about it.