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14 January 2008 @ 03:26 pm
This is not my computer but I'm posting anyway because I'm bored or something.  
Okay, so. I'm still at kleenexwoman's place because I'm totally lame and also driving for five fucking hours sucks AND ALSO when I get home I have to go to school and also it's sort of snowing on and off. It was rain and fog coming up, so I'm like, oh come on... christ I am so bad at transitions. Anyway.

We've been mostly watching stuff. Stuff that needs watched. We totally annihilated the first season of Mission: Impossible, and it is pretty much as awesome as it could possibly have been. The only shit thing is that Steven Hill got fired after season one and replaced by Peter Graves, because Steven Hill is a cranky old Orthodox Jew (which only makes him even more lovable). BUT Rachel and I have made up an epic tale of what really happened to Dan Briggs and we totally wrote it down in my notebook, along with other asinine observations, so here it is and it's awesome:

Following Dan's removal from the IMF for incriminating photos featuring sexual conduct with "the enemy" (actually Cinnamon and Rollin dressed up as a Nazi and a Soviet, respectively), he is dispatched to a titty bar in Minneapolis. There, his mission is to run the bar, except actually he just sits on a stool reading old spy novels ("They get everything wrong!") and tells customers to fix their own drinks. Regulars gossip that he may be an ousted spy, but also dogs can't look up.

Rollin comes to rescue him, surprising him by sneaking up behind him and humming the theme song under his breath cuz it's totally meta.

Dan has a single goldfish named Goldy now. He would tell her all his secrets, but he doesn't really have any. He will not tell Rollin any secrets, except about the old lady working the ticket booth at the theater across the street and how she is definitely a Commie spy and he's keeping an eye on her just in case. Rollin is mystified, but basically a good sport. He does bar tricks with a quarter to entertain the regulars while Dan picks up his last paycheck.

WHAT THE FUCK. And the sad part is that these are not the only retarded scenarios that have been spouted. Also, it has been concluded that IMF agents have incredibly kinky sex, that Dan and Rollin are gay for each other, and that Cinnamon is sexually aroused by fur coats full of money and also diamonds. She's also an expert in pegging.

But seriously, it's a great show, very sassy. Everyone's life could use more sassy. Throw aside your snark and cynicism, you jerks, and embrace a life of pure sass!

We also watched some movies that make me want to get with some dead movie stars, or at least reanimate them so they can continue being awesome. More later, mostly concerning the wonderful gayness of Rebel without a Cause and Rope, because everyone needs to know more about these things.
Current Location: Rachel's house
Current Mood: ditzysassy
R is for Raygun: Sal Mineo thinks you're purtykleenexwoman on January 15th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
Retarded? Or retarded AWESOME??
Note to readers: Dan Briggs trusts only his fish, for fish cannot talk back and they never give away your secrets. But the IMF confiscated them, and his fishtank sits empty. Rollin is going to either have to get them back or buy all new fish for Dan.
Cinnamon is totally excited about this fish-getting mission. Barney and Willy are all, "Are you kidding?" and do not help. Jerks.

Edited at 2008-01-15 02:39 am (UTC)
DrWorm: fuck me up!drworm on January 15th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC)
Retarded AWESOME, duh.
Cinnamon is so nice. You'd think she'd be all stuck-up bitch, but no, she's totally just as out of her mind as Rollin and Dan. This seems to be a requirement for the acting troupe.

Oh god, IMF summer stock presents, uh, I don't know. Lost in Yonkers or Biloxi Blues or something.
Wisecracks: OHSHI-!wisecracks on January 15th, 2008 05:12 am (UTC)
make me want to get with some dead movie stars, or at least reanimate them so they can continue being awesome.


Alright, i'll stop.
DrWorm: i candrworm on January 18th, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
I would completely support an army of undead classic movie stars.
Wisecracks: :)wisecracks on January 19th, 2008 09:34 am (UTC)
We could feed them our current movie stars.
DrWorm: fuck me up!drworm on January 19th, 2008 10:12 pm (UTC)
Hot damn! Now that's a plan!

Oh the movies they would make. Oh the brains they would eat.
(Deleted comment)
DrWorm: chained to an albinodrworm on January 21st, 2008 06:07 am (UTC)
I don't actually remember her talking about that dream, but it certainly sounds awesome.

I had a dream a couple of nights ago where this guy was basically shitting out his intestines. The lesson my dream pointed out was that you should always call a doctor immediately if such a thing ever happens to you.

I've had more informative dreams in my life. :/