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16 February 2008 @ 11:49 pm

You know what happens when someone calls me "gay" or "queer" or "fag"?

I go "ayep." What? Do they think they're telling me something I don't know?

But do I bite my tongue at being called "straight"? Of course not; I LOL. "Tranny"? Well, I can't say I love being called "tranny." It can be dismissive and diminutive, and frequently is used by silly people as a way of denying my own stated (and physically projected) identity. But I can't get too offended; I started out as a chick, regardless of how my mind and body have diverged from average female development.

Ah, but I have to laugh... the only times I've ever been called "butch", it's been by people who assume I'm a lesbian. Oh, and that makes me defensive. I remember getting pissed off in the ninth grade when a couple of skinny bitches giggled, called me a lesbian, and insinuated that I was checking them out. I mean, no way were they that hot--certainly not to me, because I don't think I've ever checked out a random girl in a sexual way. Every girl I've ever had a crush on, going back to elementary school, it's been about her personality and not her body or her gender.

So I react badly to being called a lesbian. That's nothing against lesbians, this is my own problem. And someday I hope I'll be able to smile and not give a shit. But this is maybe one reason why this and, by extension, this... well, I don't know what to think. My first thought is, "bullshit."

You want to get rid of the homophobia? Why are you worrying about insinuating a couple of guys might be gay before worrying about why being gay is such a heinous insult? It reminds me of all the people who get mad when you say, "Hey, Dr. Girlfriend might be a tranny" and suddenly everyone is telling you how mean that is. Mean? It's part of the fucking show! Mean? What exactly do you have against trannies? Oh no, I know, most everyone considers transpeople to be unfortunate or physically unattractive or whatever. But I don't think the problem is with insinuating that someone might be a tranny. No, the problem is that people see being a tranny as such an insulting and terrible thing.

Ah, but shouldn't I be sympathizing with those poor straight men who are in some hypothetical danger of being called gay? I mean, I get pissed about being called a lesbian... except, as I admitted before, that's my problem. And my problem is not the same as the straight guy's problem, my panic is not his panic. My identity is actually in jeopardy, and is very vulnerable to other people thinking that they can define it. A straight man only perceives his identity as being in jeopardy. Which is why I think I'm going to have to defer to Achewood on this one.

I'm also a little perturbed about this idea that non-sexual relationships are under some sort of dire threat, god forbid. But that might be a completely different post. Just sayin', though, that I think it's bullshit.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Malcolm Ffarfrynardd, Esq.ffarff on February 17th, 2008 07:29 am (UTC)
why does everything have to be gay?
on the doctor who message boards theres alot of people talking about Torchwood going 'why do they have to ruin it with Teh gay all the time. why does it have to be about the gay allll the time. im so sick of it! i don't like it being shoved down my throat!'
it makes me laugh because they squirming all over the place when people question them of why that kiss/touch wasnt required for the plot and then crash and start with the 'im not homophobic, i know some gays and they are nice people but...'
happens every time.

so the platonic friendship is being threatened? OH NOES! the gays spreading!

this bit made me screw up face up and stare for a while
Because when every physical touch and every kind word and every emotional intimacy and every time when a guy let his guard down enough and picked Colbert over Carrell is open season for us to call him gay, then what kind of message are men supposed to take away? and the following few sentences.

Gay Cred? what the fuck is Gay Cred?
(Anonymous) on February 20th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC)
Everyone will always point fingers in the time when they are free from being pointed at. It gives them time to deteriorate another's character, because in about twenty minutes their's will be trashed. We all need to counter-balance our egos. You should not worry about the titles people give to your own book. The fun part of knowing things that other people don't - like the context, or how many chapters fill your pages. Whatever you are, whatever you're not - does not really matter. Being offended is immature, and being offensive is even more immature, and it's okay. If it weren't for dolts incapacitating this society we'd never appreciate the good ones. Who's to say straight people aren't the wrong ones? What's exactly right?

Walking through life in an angsty bubble makes no room for others worth surrounding yourself around. Pop it, and start breathing - finally. Besting of both worlds, as we're all living in just one.