THINGS YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT st_crispins BUT ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUT:

st_crispins once beat a metaphor to death on the steps of a church and felt no remorse.

st_crispins shot Johnny Cash in Reno, then wrote a song about it.

st_crispins tried to get into the U.N.C.L.E., but it turned out it really was a tailoring shop.

st_crispins is voting for Obama.

st_crispins may have lied about being canonized.

st_crispins has heard of humor before, but will have no truck with it.