st_crispins once beat a metaphor to death on the steps of a church and felt no remorse.
st_crispins shot Johnny Cash in Reno, then wrote a song about it.
st_crispins tried to get into the U.N.C.L.E., but it turned out it really was a tailoring shop.
st_crispins is voting for Obama.
st_crispins may have lied about being canonized.
st_crispins has heard of humor before, but will have no truck with it.