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29 April 2008 @ 12:08 am
Things that bug me in Man from UNCLE fanfic, chapter 394.  
I should be writing my papers. I should be, I should be, I... am not. I am cataloging slash cliches in my head, because this is the first time in forever that I've read a ton of fanfic in one go and it's weirding me out.

- Napoleon and Illya are always the good guys. I get it, they are the protagonists and are framed as "good," whatever the hell that means. But it's like, okay, am I watching the same series? They are assholes! Which is why I fucking love this thing; it's genius, and the first time I ever saw anyone actually criticizing the series' politics. Which is massively weird, because it's a 60s show and the politics are not, um. Good. Just sayin', you know. I like good guys, but I also like good guys who get called out when they're jerks. And bad guys who can be nice and sympathetic.

- I'm bored with sex. What the hell? I'm bored with sweet, lovey-dovey sex. This is wrong. This should not be. I should not be wanting questionable fumblings. Well, that's not true, I'm a weirdo and I always like that sort of weird shit. Eroticism of things that are not normally erotic. Sex with layers, as I was saying to kleenexwoman. I want sex that means more than "I love you" or "You're hot." Literary sex. I'm so fucking tempted to get this shirt, goddammit.

- Why do I see the same weird constructions over and over? This is freaking me out, stop being such a hive mind, eeek. Like, the phrase "the said ___" has been following me around this fandom and I want to punch it. Other shit too, like "batting his hands away" (which I loathe), but that's par for slash fic. But... "the said ___"? Like, here's an example of a sentence from a story: "It was infinitely less disturbing to take off his clothes in front of Napoleon than to have Napoleon taking off said clothes." WTF STOP THAT.

-It's really weird when people leave you feedback that might actually be longer than whatever you wrote. I just... wtaf do i do?
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: They Might Be Giants - The Shadow Government
R is for Raygun: Internet policekleenexwoman on April 29th, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)
dude I think we're filthy anarchists basically for questioning the wisdom of a team of secret police that's not particularly accountable to anyone :/ filthy anarchists or Canadians

I'm tempted to ask you if you want to have literary sex but I'm not sure if that is technically possible outside of literature?

"batting hands away" basically makes me think of a kitten
"said clothes" makes me think that someone is basically trying to write a legal brief.
DrWorm: butch updrworm on April 30th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
We're gonna end up moving to Canada, aren't we? :( Defectors.

I would like to have literary sex, but I'm not sure how to do it aside from reciting poetry and/or trying to arrange a meaning... which is really fucking pretentious, lol.

Grown men do not "bat" goddammit. Nor do they "swat."
R is for Raygun: Bibliophiliakleenexwoman on April 30th, 2008 09:43 pm (UTC)
I would move to Canada. They have universal health care and legalized pot and they sell french fries with gravy on them at Taco Bell.

oh god literary orgies
like half key party, half poetry reading
leaving little interpretive essays as bite marks on someone's thighs
DrWorm: don't ask don't telldrworm on May 2nd, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
We could get a job at Niagara Falls. Piloting the Maid of the Mist. Fuck yeah, tourists and waterfalls.

leaving little interpretive essays as bite marks on someone's thighs

This is too fuckin cute, ok.