I should be writing my papers. I should be, I should be, I... am not. I am cataloging slash cliches in my head, because this is the first time in forever that I've read a ton of fanfic in one go and it's weirding me out.

- Napoleon and Illya are always the good guys. I get it, they are the protagonists and are framed as "good," whatever the hell that means. But it's like, okay, am I watching the same series? They are assholes! Which is why I fucking love this thing; it's genius, and the first time I ever saw anyone actually criticizing the series' politics. Which is massively weird, because it's a 60s show and the politics are not, um. Good. Just sayin', you know. I like good guys, but I also like good guys who get called out when they're jerks. And bad guys who can be nice and sympathetic.

- I'm bored with sex. What the hell? I'm bored with sweet, lovey-dovey sex. This is wrong. This should not be. I should not be wanting questionable fumblings. Well, that's not true, I'm a weirdo and I always like that sort of weird shit. Eroticism of things that are not normally erotic. Sex with layers, as I was saying to kleenexwoman. I want sex that means more than "I love you" or "You're hot." Literary sex. I'm so fucking tempted to get this shirt, goddammit.

- Why do I see the same weird constructions over and over? This is freaking me out, stop being such a hive mind, eeek. Like, the phrase "the said ___" has been following me around this fandom and I want to punch it. Other shit too, like "batting his hands away" (which I loathe), but that's par for slash fic. But... "the said ___"? Like, here's an example of a sentence from a story: "It was infinitely less disturbing to take off his clothes in front of Napoleon than to have Napoleon taking off said clothes." WTF STOP THAT.

-It's really weird when people leave you feedback that might actually be longer than whatever you wrote. I just... wtaf do i do?