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10 July 2008 @ 10:36 pm
Fanmix: Napoleon Sheds His Skin  
Title: Napoleon Sheds His Skin
Disclaimer: As always, files are of varying (mostly low/medium) quality and are meant for previewing purposes. If you like a song, check out the artist and support them! If it's possible, I mean. Some of these songs are harder to find than others.
Thanks: to kleenexwoman for the World/Inferno Friendship Society track.
Notes: So, this time, you have to suffer through my inane reasons why I chose the songs I did. It's fun. Go with it. There's also really short, really stupid fic for you at the end if you want it.

Also, fair warning, this is not very, uh, complimentary. It turned out kind of mean. But, and I'm being entirely sincere here, I'm meanest to the characters I like the most. I honestly really, really like Napoleon... it's just that I like him because he's sort of a jerk. Take that how you will, I guess.

Download! Part 1 (46.48 MB) Part 2 (66.78 MB)

This one is probably pretty self-explanatory.

My, my,
at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

The World Was A Mess But His Hair Was Perfect
[The Rakes]
I mostly like this one for the title...

And you go on and on on on
Talking shite through the night
Just trying to stop our arguments falling to pieces

Modern Don Juan
[Buddy Holly]
A younger, more idealistic, less commitment-phobic Napoleon... as the song goes on, I mean.

Well, I ain’t nothin’ but a man in love
I ain’t nothin’ but a man in love
the girls they say I’m their only one
they even say I’m a modern Don Juan

Poor Little Rich Boy
[Regina Spektor]
A bit of a risk, but, like the previous one, I think it works for a somewhat younger Napoleon.

Poor little rich boy, all the couples have gone
You wish that they hadn’t, you don’t wanna be alone
But they wanna kiss and they got homes of their own
Poor little rich boy, all the couples have gone, they’ve gone, they’ve gone

A Sin So Nasty
A little sexy, a little creepy, a little funky. Like Napoleon himself. And in a roundabout way I have to thank iwerewolf for this track, since I actually first heard it on the spy station she recommended here.


You're So Vain
[John Barrowman]
Yes, this song. With a little added gender confusion courtesy of Captain Jack.

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear Jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with some underworld spy
Or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you

The Gambler
[Kenny Rogers]
Napoleon is a gambler, in that kind of depressing way.

Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep.
'Cause every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

Charming Side of Drunk
[The World/Inferno Friendship Society]
I can't articulate exactly how this song is about Napoleon but oh--it is. Also, "charm" became sort of a sub-theme in this mix, as will soon become clear.

You've had too many lovers and not enough friends,
I said to myself looking around the room.
I've had too many drinks and not enough dinner.
Time to go soon.
Every foolish thing I never tried.
Every foolish thing I've called mine.
With age comes decadence, look here it comes.
Doing foolish things just to see
What change would bring.
I gotta stay on the charming side of drunk
And leave without saying goodbye

It's On The Rocks
[The Donnas]
Inside, Napoleon is insecure and a little girly (I guess). And he'd better watch that all his former girlfriends don't get together and gang up on him.

I apologize for all the noise
I just had to tell all the boys
That you'd rather have a Mai Tai
Than a tall glass of Bud Dry

Well, you're the kind of guy
Who needs attention around the clock

The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite
A post-Affair song? A bit of a meta-commentary on the show itself? Whatever. Napoleon is the sidewinder.

The cat in the hat came back, wrecked a lot of havoc on the way,
Always had a smile and a reason to pretend.
But their world has flat backgrounds and little need to sleep but to dream.
The sidewinder sleeps on his back.

Napoleon Sheds His Skin
[Tom Cochrane & Red Rider]
I wound up liking this song so much that it became the title. Obviously there's a double meaning: that of taking off clothing and revealing more underneath, which works nicely with Napoleon and his suits. (kleenexwoman laughed when she saw this song on the list.)

Napoleon sheds his skin
In the summer when the sun is high
He never knows when to quit
When to stop
Or when to say die

And time stands still behind
The distant gates
Time moves on outside in the sun
Then he wonders which side he's really on

The Perks of Being An Optimist
[How Bright the Sky]
So, yeah, this is totally the sort of music I listened to in high school and it's only slightly embarrassing. You can download this song here too! But I was seeing it as sort of a mission-oriented, Napoleon and Illya strained friendship sort of thing... okay, they're having a fight.

So put yourself in my place, baby
I bet you wouldn't last a second in my shoes
Now tell me how long it takes to make me shake and break my back in two

My Way
[The Sex Pistols]
Napoleon falls somewhere between Frank Sinatra and Sid Vicious.

There were times,
I'm sure you knew
When there was fuck, fuck
Fuck all else to do
But through it all,
When there was doubt
I shot it up or kicked it out
I faced 'em all and the world
And did it my way

You May Be Right
[Billy Joel]
Heard this one in a grocery store (not for the first time) and went, "Oh no, Napoleon!"

I've been stranded in the combat zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I'm insane

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

[Alanis Morissette]
Ouch. Mean. And probably a little true.

Dear Narcissus Boy
I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Charmless Man
Getting meaner! Ah, but it's only mean if there's a shred of truth to be had. Right?

I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man
Educated the expensive way
He knows his claret from a beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way

The Last of the Famous International Playboys
Interesting note: both this song and the one before it namedrop the Kray twins. Which is apparently what you do when you're British and you're talking about morally questionable charmers.

I never wanted to kill
Such things I do
Just to make myself
More attractive to you

Poor Napoleon
[Elvis Costello & The Attractions]
Yeah, at this point I figured it was time to take a little pity on Napoleon. Well, sort of.

So good night little school boy, you'd better learn some self control
Did you mess up your hairstyle, pour scorn in your begging bowl?

Bare wires from the socket to the bed where you embraced that girl
Did you ever think there's far too many people in the world?
One day they'll probably make a movie out of all of this
There won't even have to be a murder just a slow dissolving kiss

I Want To Protect You
And, finally, a little something to highlight the more generally positive side of Napoleon's nature.

Not much of a man
But still I am a man
And you bring out something inside me
A perfect little diamond
A fragile little fire
And everything good in the world
To me

I want to protect you
I want you to be safe and sound
At night in this world
Such a delicate girl needs someone
To look out for the wolves
I want to protect you


Title: Napoleon Sheds His Skin
Word count: 100

Napoleon examined his shoulder and, after a moment’s thought, scratched. A strip of dead white skin came away. “Ew,” he announced, then held out his hand. “Look!”

“Please don’t show me,” Illya replied, lifting his book up in front of his face for protection. When he spoke again, his voice was slightly muffled. “I told you to wear sunblock.”

“That you did,” Napoleon agreed. He lifted away another hank of skin. “It’s just like peeling an orange.”

“And here I’d thought you were unpleasant when you were in pain,” Illya said as he kicked the motel wastebasket toward his partner.


Covers made using:

- Ambulance Shotgun
- Uncle Typewriter
- Photoshop Brush set "Arrested," found here
- photos I stole from, I think it's safe to assume, Solovision. (With thanks, as always.)
Current Mood: calmcalm
Elisa - Queen of Dorks: Bad boys are lovelily_lemony on July 11th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
The other randomly bizarre thing about music and the Kray Twins is that the twins from Spandau Ballet played them in a very good film I can't remember the title of right now...was it The Krays? Could it be that simple?
DrWorm: why?drworm on July 13th, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
Ha, yes, it looks like it is The Krays, or so says wikipedia. Coolness, I'll have to try to check some of this out...

And heh, I forgot, you were/are into Morrissey, yes?
Elisa - Queen of Dorkslily_lemony on July 13th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
Yep, I used to run a Moz forum. Whenever I pass the Cat and Fiddle here in LA, I still smile. :)
dougysuedougysue on July 11th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
MUNCLE mixes! Yay! Taking them. Thanks so much. As for being mean to N - it's said: You only hurt the ones you love.
DrWorm: awesomedrworm on July 13th, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
You only hurt the ones you love.

Yes! This is exactly my take on it! ... other people sometimes don't quite get that, though. :/

And I hope you enjoy them! :D
R is for Raygun: Strapping young buckskleenexwoman on July 12th, 2008 03:48 am (UTC)
The end drabble still makes me lol so much. :D
DrWorm: bananaphonedrworm on July 13th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
lol well I'm glad it makes somebody out there laugh. :D
talented amateur, the only gerontologist you know: mfu: ns only optimiststheladyrose on July 14th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
This looks frakkin' AWESOME - both the song choices (at least the lyrics/titles) and the artwork. I love your mini-commentary on the songs and the titles and really look forward to listening to all of this. What I've heard so far has been kickass.
DrWorm: i has a puppy!drworm on July 18th, 2008 05:22 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm afraid I've put a lot of time into making these, so it's nice to hear that people like them well enough.

But then they've also been fun to make, so I can't exactly play it off like it's a chore or anything, hah. Also, it's helping to familiarize me with real-Photoshop and find new music, so it's good all around. :D
Trepkostrepkos on August 8th, 2008 02:33 pm (UTC)
This looks great fun!
Amy H. Sturgis: UNCLEeldritchhobbit on August 8th, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC)
You are made of WIN.
Jenavira: mUNCLE: cute.jenavira on August 8th, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
You absolutely rock my world. I am so ridiculously thrilled to have MUNCLE fanmixes at last....
 I'm not familiar with the thing I'm seeinglite_bright on August 9th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
This looks absolutely incredible. Yay!
Ped: BBM - Love (animated)the_ped on August 9th, 2008 10:42 am (UTC)
Not familiar with the fandom at ALL... but I love all the songs.

So, thanks for compiling this album, and of course sharing it with us.