I am the humaniod form of the Goddess of Small Tree Roots, but you may call me 'Squash'.
2) What name would you have rather had?:
Well...would you want the name Squash? I think I'll change it to Rutabaga.
3) What's the most irritating noise in the world to you?:
Microphone/stereo feedback, because it means someone isn't doing their job properly. Or something isn't working properly, and that is infinitely worse.
4) What is your dream job?:
5) If you could have one thing disappear from your life, what would it be?:
6) If you were to live in a room for a full year and could only be supplied with one type of food and one type of beverage for that year, what would they be?:
Mushroom pizza and water.
7) In the room you are to take three people of your choosing in with you from the three categories presented to you; a friend, a celebrity, and at least one person of the opposite sex.:
Ok...um...Zero, Josh Charles (you are deemed a celebrity!), and...Ryan, I suppose. ::shrugs:: We'll kill each other by the end of the year.
8) If you eat pasta and anti-pasta, are you still hungry? Explain?:
No, you are not...because mathematically one should cancel out the other. I still don't know what anti-pasta is ("Good evening, I am the...Anti-Pasta! Bwahahaha!")
9) Which fantasy role do you think you are most suited for or would like to do: Barbarian, Knight, Rogue, Mercenary, Mage, Sorcerer, Royalty, Thief, etc:
Either Sorcerer or Thief.
10) How old or young do you wish you were?:
18. I'd like to stop feeling so small all of the time.
11) If you were in a horror movie, do you think you'd be one of the unwitting victims, or one of the people who survives?:
I'd be one of the psycho-killers double-crossed by his partner in the surprise ending.
12) Do you or have you ever called a Psychic hotline? Why?:
13) Have you ever made up or given yourself a theme song? What was it?:
I might have as...some momentary weirdness. But I don't think I ever stuck to it religiously. And I can't remember.
14) Which would you rather have: Super strength, super speed, or be able to fly?:
Super strength. I...lift...things...by...myself! Oh yeah!
15) How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?:
The circumference of the earth divided by the square root of the letter 'n'.
16) What color are your eyes?:
17) What's one thing in your life you wish you could do?:
Satisfy myself and my concerns.
18) Have you ever burst out laughing or cheer in a movie theater during a very serious scene?:
Yes...I know I have. I just can't remember when.
19) Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Explain?:
Have you ever seen a chicken who didn't lay eggs? But did you ever seen an egg that laid chickens? And...um...lived to tell about it?
Fuck me. I couldn't think of a snappy answer to that. I liked Birdy Jae's answer: "Chickens are just ways for eggs to reproduce themselves.
20) Where do you wish you lived?:
Somewhere that I could pick up a nifty accent.
21) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?
Taste and availability, really.
22) If you could, for one day, possess the body of any person or creature, who or what would you possess?:
I'd like to experience being male, just for a change of pace.
23) What is your worst nightmare?:
Long story short: seeing a dove walking around with her chest ripped open and then having to bury the body. The smell of decay was incredibly vivid, even though it just a dream.
24) Baths or Showers?:
25) If you had to go into battle, what type of weapon (any weapon you want) would you take with you?:
A photon torpedo (grab your sunglasses, babes)!
26) Have you ever wished that, for once, the bad guy won?:
Mmmm...almost always. I always rooted for Scar when I watched 'The Lion King'.
27) What was the Magical Mystery tour, really?:
It was my freshman year, actually.
28) Have you ever gone to a time-sharing resort? If you have, ha-ha!:
29) If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Explain:
Those are some high-quality whore dolls, y'know.
30) What do you regret the most?:
A lot of the time I regret not working up to my full potential due to laziness or fabricated time restraints.
31) Which cartoon ability would you rather have - the ability to paint a hole in the ground or a door in a solid wall and go thru it, the ability to be run over by a steamroller and shake yourself back to normal, or the ability to fall hundreds of feet off a cliff to your doom and be back in the very next scene?:
I want the ability to make my eyes bulge in a comical way.
32) If you had a third eye where would you put it?:
I'd use it to channel my psychic powers...and hopefully convince people that I am some variety of demon...therefore it must reside smack-dab in the middle of my forehead.
33) If your house was on fire and you could only grab one thing to take with you, what would it be? (Let's assume your family and pets got out safely):
Ummm...I'd probably grab my sketchpad (which, by default, would have my art box strapped to it...)
34) Are you more likely to be the "good cop" or the "bad cop"?:
Bad cop. I have a nasty temper when I'm pissed and have been know to yell, scream, jump up and down in circles, and waves my hands wildly. If I had an actual gun, I swear I'd be so much more threatening.
35) What famous person do other people tell you you most resemble?:
I'm Ariel from 'The Little Mermaid'...but not really that pretty. >.<
36) If your bologna had a first name what would it be?:
37) If you found a magic lamp with a genie inside, what three things would you wish for?:
An extra dose of artistic talent, financial security, and a hail of Trigun yaoi doujinshi.
38) Cats or Dogs?:
39) Would the world be a better place if skipping were more common than walking? (Issues to consider: more scrapes and bruises, better aerobic health, better spirits, more lost keys):
The world would be a happier place.
40) Do you know what the Hawley-Smoot Tariff is?
A Tariff on Hawley-Smoots?
41) What's your favorite candy bar?:
In bar form? I like Paydays...
42) How many roads must a man walk down?:
43) If you were infected by a deadly biochemical and the only way to survive was to take one of those huge cardiac needles and plunge it thru your sternum right into your heart, would you be able to save yourself?:
Yes...I like it when large, sharp, pointy things enter my body. And I'm not being dirty.
44) Would you rather be lost in space or stuck on a uncharted desert isle?:
Lost in space. "Warning! Warning! Mr. Smith!"
45) Which anime/cartoon character do you most resemble?:
I think I actually resemble S. Asuka Langley (from Neon Genesis Evangelion) physically. At least slightly...I've got her hair, at least. Personality-wise, I think I'm very much Trowa (Gundam Wing). Quiet, intelligent, a performer, and an animal lover. But also there's this little kick from Kermit (The Muppet Show and various movies...I know he's a puppet and not a cartoon character...shurt up) thrown in. This parental, 'person with a plan' straightman...who occasionally throws an unexpected curveball.
46) Would you like to be cloned?
47) Is it more time efficient to put on both socks and then both shoes, or one sock, one shoe and then the other sock, the other shoe?:
Either way, you still get your footwear on your feet, and that's what's important.
48) Do you want to be John Malkovich?:
Not much, no. And I hated that movie. I love 'Of Mice and Men', though.
49) Which is worse: a paper cut or a skinned knee?:
Skinned knee. Bigger ouchie and dirt and gravel can get caught in it.
50) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?:
Michael, according to my mother.
51) What do you think of Pi?:
The greatest number in the universe. Period.
52) Do you think aliens exist? Do you think someone you know is an alien?:
I think all aliens should be wrapped up in tarps like burritos (thanks Art Bell...)
53) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?:
I've never had very good costumes. My best one was probably this 'sexy Phantom of the Opera' thing I did one year. And it was still pretty bad. I have two friends who dressed up like Mario and Luigi, though! They were awesome!
54) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?:
I went out one year as a Liddle Kiddle. That was pretty bad. And last year I was Ron Weasely from the Harry Potter books (along with requisite friends being Harry and Hermione) but I don't think anyone got it.
55) What does love got to do with it? Explain?:
Damn near nothing. I'd worry more about lust.
56) Buttered or plain popcorn?:
57) Do you believe in magic?:
I believe in David Copperfield
58) What is your opinion of Ronald McDonald?:
Can't sleep...clowns will eat me.
59) If you were convicted of a crime and sentenced to the death penalty, what would you have as your last meal?:
Bring on the Big Macs and breaded chicken...I say, I say.
60) How much wool did the black sheep have?:
An infinite supply, I imagine...he being a sheep and all.
61) What is one thing about yourself that will surprise all?:
If it's supposed to be a surprise, then I really shouldn't tell you...should I?
62) City or Country?:
Suburbia! Kidding...oh...city, I suppose.
63) Have you ever wished upon a star? Explain?:
I usually wish upon special numbers on the clock. like 11:11 is a good time to wish for stuff.
64) What do you do during your free time?:
Draw, write, obsess, troll about on the Internet, do stuff with friends.
65) What superpowers do you have if you're a supermodel?:
Stiletto Heels of Death.
66) Do you remember Crystal Pepsi? Did you like it?:
Oh...was that when they tried to make Pepsi clear? I vaguely remember it...but don't remember trying it.
67) Summer or Winter?
68) If you could do one thing all day long what would it be?:
Either draw...or spend time with friends.
69) What's the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?:
I fall down a lot.
70) Which element do you think you are most like?:
Earth. Solid. Grounded. Oh baby.
71) Barney or Teletubbies?:
Teletubbies are...well, they're cuter.
72) Who shot JR?:
Dallas! Ha!...I dunno.
73) Favorite sandwich filling?:
Tuna or chicken salad.
74) Do you get goose pimples? Explain?:
Yeah, if i'm cold enough.
75) What characteristics do you despise?:
Pigheadedness, the inability to listen, stupidity.
76) Where would you retire?:
I'll probably be back in Ohio, attempting to recapture my youth.
77) Who would you hate to be left in a room with?:
There are many, many, many people who come to mind.
78) Were you happy when Leonardo DiCaprio or "Jack" drowned at the end of Titanic?:
79) Which super hero has the coolest powers?:
Sailor Saturn! Ability to destroy the world! Hell yeah!...but I like Batman's gadgets.
80) What's your sign?:
81) Pepsi or Coca Cola?:
82) Which would you rather have; a tail, wings, fangs, or horns?:
Fangs. I have an intense wish to be a vampire...but if I could have wings too, that'd be cool.
83) What do you have for breakfast?:
Cereal, usually. If I eat breakfast.
84) Is life more like the game of Life, Sorry, or Monopoly?:
Space Invaders. Honestly.
85) What's one of your greatest weaknesses?:
I have a tendency to be paranoid in relationships, need consoling, and need a lot of reassurance.
86) Would you like to know the precise date and method of your death?:
No thanks. I'm all for the element of surprise.
87) Do bugs scare you?:
Nah...well...maybe those foot-high rhinocerous beetles creep the fuck out of me.
88) In the They Might Be Giants song, why does the Triangle man hate so much?:
Because he's isosceles.
89) What store do you wish you could have a shopping spree in? What would you get?:
The Junkman's Daughter's Brother. Or maybe the Junkman's Daughter. Located in Georgia. I could go nuts.
90) Do you have any rules or laws that you wish could be enforced on others?:
Be nice, request sex more often, brake for pedestrians, come to a complete stop at stop signs, and buy my artwork (if I ever sell it).
91) The worst pick-up line you've ever heard?:
"Oh man, cunnilingus here?" No, it's better not to ask.
Although I do rather like "Let's play army! I'll be the general, you be the sergeant and lie down on the floor, and I'll blow your head off!"
92) What do you think Victoria's secret is, and why won't she tell?:
I think that all of Victoria's lingerie models are closted lesbians who all get together for hot sex on the weekends...can I come?
93) If you lived in a house that was haunted by a poltergeist or possessed in any manner, would you stay until the wall started bleeding or your daughter was sucked into a vortex, or would you get out while the getting was good?:
I think I'd just sit back and enjoy it tremendously.
94) Are black holes where God multiplied by zero?:
You can multiply by zero. It's dividing by zero that makes things complicated.
95) Do you have a dream? What is it? Explain?:
I had a dream once with chickens in it.
96) If you needed to break into a building would you suggest sneaking in quietly or run in weapons swinging?:
Sneaking in real quiet like...like a fish!
97) Did your parents ever embarrass you in front of someone you really liked or your school mates? What did they do? Did they do it on purpose?:
I'm sure they have but...it's all just stupid stuff that I obviously don't remember or care much about.
98) Would you want a baby dragon for a pet? What would you name it?:
Oh yeah...I'd name it Nimue or Azazel...or...maybe Norbert.
99) What is ubermensch?:
100) Are you sorry you began filling this survey out?:
It was challenging to find smart-ass answers to many of these questions.