"[rose's office. rose is sitting at her desk with the chair swivled around and a small white bunny on her lap. squall is seated on the floor in jeans and a t-shirt and unfringed leather jacket that it looks like he borrowed off of heero, legs tucked under him, with another few white bunnies scatered around his knees]
Rose: [quietly and steadily, in the kind of tone you'd use when talking to either the village idiot or a mentally unstable psycho killer] Squall... [indicates the bunny in her lap] Do you know what this is?
Squall: [voice barely above a whisper, flat toned] Yes, Rose.
Rose: [twitches. puts a hand over her face, peering between her fingers] You just almost said "yes, Writer" didn't you?
Squall: [not looking up from where he's slowly petting one of the bunnies, shrugs with one shoulder]
Rose: [twitches again] I have *never* asked you guys to call me that. Larathia's muses call her that, but in case you hadn't noticed, this isn't Larathia's mansion! Don't go getting all rank and formality on me!
Squall: [sighs softly] Alright.
Rose: Better. [eyes the bunny again, reaching down to pick it up. it's limp and cuddly and purrs] Squall... seriously.... do you know what this IS?!
Squall: [glances up briefly] I brought it to you.
Rose: [extremely pained] Squall... [dangles the bunny by the scruff of its neck] This... this is a fucking white private wedding - complete with rings, vows, and goddamn roses - bunny! [pauses, then shakes the bunny at Squall] To your *father*!! Do you have any concept of just how fucked in the head this proves you are right now?!
Squall: [says nothing, refusing to look up, and continues petting the bunny on the floor]
Rose: [aims a kick at another one of the bunnies which seems to affect the bunny not at all] And this! The honeymoon bunny! And that one over there is the damn kitten bunny! And that thing you're petting is the goddamn mpreg bunny that even Laguna wouldn't touch once he came to his senses!!
Squall: [keeps petting the bunny like he can't hear a word rose is saying]
Rose: [drops the wedding bunny on the floor in disgust, where it bounces] I realize you're having commitment issues right now, but christ on a pogo stick... Oh my fucking gawd... I don't think I even have a licensed psychologist in here, must less a psychotherapist... what the fuck am I supposed to do with you now?!"
"This [holds up exhibit A] is a smarm bunny! Cuddling! Sweet nothings! Whispered words and slow kisses!
And *this* [holds up exhibit B] is a romance bunny! Candle light! Dinner! Music! *Roses*!!
This [holds up exhibit C] is a *commitment* bunny. Promises! Vows! Rings! Weddings!!
This [holds up exhibit D] is a hurt comfort bunny! Pain! Angst! Cuddling and comfort! Reassurance! Hand holding! Fussing!
And THIS [holds up exhibit E] is Squall Leonhart. Black leather wearing gunblade wielding SeeD Commander. Frequently earns the nickname "ice queen" because of his anti social and untalkative nature. The first person to have a thing for Squall had to bloody well carve their initials on his hide with a gunblade to get the point across!!
See exhibits A-D?? I am up to my bloody eyeballs in them!! Singly! Together! In mind boggling combinations! I have bunnies EVERYWHERE!!
And you want to know where they came from? Check exhibit E. >____<
Squall, so help me, you really are your father's son but did you have to go and prove it like this?! And does bunny breeding explosions have to be genetic?! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! "
That's why it's the home of the rabid plot bunnies. Watch it, before they start foaming at the mouth and biting people.
*snickers at thought of Monty Python's killer rabbit*